"Repeat, repeat, repeat."
Day 12: Describe a typical day in your current life.
It's pretty much the same thing, everyday. Not really going to go in depth, because there's no point. You'll see what I mean.
Wake up, usually late.
Rush to get ready (sometimes shower) and then get to class.
Usually will get to class late.
Drudge through classes.
Get back home, or go to work.
If at work, do work, putting my well-worn mask on, then go home.
If at home, spend time online.
Night arrives, do homework.
Sleep (maybe). Depends on the night, and if I want to entertain the dreams.
Rinse and repeat.
Salut,
~J
Thursday 21 November 2013
Wednesday 20 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 11
"Get that bloody thing away from me."
I have a paper due tomorrow, but I'm doing this now, because it's already 11 PM.
Day 11: Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
1. People who think having OCD is cool, or hip, or that "everyone has it". No. They don't. Go to hell, asshole. It's a damn disease, and it's torture living with it.
2. When people talk about random stuff during a class. Look, I get it, you guys want to converse with each other, but don't you think that other people in the class want to actually be able to hear what the professor is saying? I don't have a problem with people talking in class if it's class related, though. Like, "Can I take a look at your notes?", "What page are we one?" or whatever.
3. When people act all high and mighty. "Oh, I don't judge." is a common phrase I'm so annoyed with. Yes. You judge. Everyone judges people. Everyone has an opinion about someone else. Sure, if you can keep it from influencing how you treat the person you're judging (well, as much as possible) then that's great. Just stop pretending that you're able to not judge someone.
4. When a book is mistreated. I hate (well, strongly dislike) seeing books with dog ears, markings in them, and other kind of defacement. I know it's not technically "mistreatment" of the books, but it still gets me so annoyed when I see it being done.
5. People who are clingy. They send a message every hour or so, they seem to want a conversation every moment of every day... Okay, this is an exaggeration, but you get what I mean. Ugh, just give me some space. Are you that starved for attention?
6. People who can't decide what they want to order, but only suddenly decide to make a decision when they're at the front of the line. You know how inconvenient and annoying that is? You know the type. They're texting, talking on the phone, laughing with friends, or something similar, and all while they're in line.
7. When people think they know me. No. You don't. I don't really open up to other people. My innermost secrets are all in my head, and only one other person has ever seen that side of me. Even then, she ignores what she knows half the time, so I suppose it doesn't really count. Eh.
8. People who refuse to learn reading comprehension and just misunderstands whatever I'm (or someone else) is arguing with them. It's just so damn irritating.
9. People who think they're better than others.
10. When people just don't tell me when I ask what's going on. "Oh, it's nothing." Well it sure wasn't nothing a second ago.
This was fun.
Salut,
~J
P.S. These are amazing. Enjoy!
http://laughterburst.com/gag/50-life-hacks-you-need-to-know/
I have a paper due tomorrow, but I'm doing this now, because it's already 11 PM.
Day 11: Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
1. People who think having OCD is cool, or hip, or that "everyone has it". No. They don't. Go to hell, asshole. It's a damn disease, and it's torture living with it.
2. When people talk about random stuff during a class. Look, I get it, you guys want to converse with each other, but don't you think that other people in the class want to actually be able to hear what the professor is saying? I don't have a problem with people talking in class if it's class related, though. Like, "Can I take a look at your notes?", "What page are we one?" or whatever.
3. When people act all high and mighty. "Oh, I don't judge." is a common phrase I'm so annoyed with. Yes. You judge. Everyone judges people. Everyone has an opinion about someone else. Sure, if you can keep it from influencing how you treat the person you're judging (well, as much as possible) then that's great. Just stop pretending that you're able to not judge someone.
4. When a book is mistreated. I hate (well, strongly dislike) seeing books with dog ears, markings in them, and other kind of defacement. I know it's not technically "mistreatment" of the books, but it still gets me so annoyed when I see it being done.
5. People who are clingy. They send a message every hour or so, they seem to want a conversation every moment of every day... Okay, this is an exaggeration, but you get what I mean. Ugh, just give me some space. Are you that starved for attention?
6. People who can't decide what they want to order, but only suddenly decide to make a decision when they're at the front of the line. You know how inconvenient and annoying that is? You know the type. They're texting, talking on the phone, laughing with friends, or something similar, and all while they're in line.
7. When people think they know me. No. You don't. I don't really open up to other people. My innermost secrets are all in my head, and only one other person has ever seen that side of me. Even then, she ignores what she knows half the time, so I suppose it doesn't really count. Eh.
8. People who refuse to learn reading comprehension and just misunderstands whatever I'm (or someone else) is arguing with them. It's just so damn irritating.
9. People who think they're better than others.
10. When people just don't tell me when I ask what's going on. "Oh, it's nothing." Well it sure wasn't nothing a second ago.
This was fun.
Salut,
~J
P.S. These are amazing. Enjoy!
http://laughterburst.com/gag/50-life-hacks-you-need-to-know/
Tuesday 19 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 10
"Some things are hard to forget."
Day 10: Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Oh wow. This is a tough one. I have so many to choose from.
I guess I'll just describe the one I remember most. Here goes.
I was in class. It was a linguistics class. The time was around 1:25 PM, and the class ends around 1:45 PM. I was sitting near the front row of this lecture, and I was feeling sleepy (I sometimes need a nap around that time period). Anyway, I dozed off, and when I woke up, the class was empty. I looked around, thinking, "Wait, what time is it?" I checked my watch, and saw it was 2:50 PM. "Holy crap! I slept for over an hour!" Turns out, it was only 1:50 PM, and my watch was wrong. Whoops.
Not as embarrassing as most stories, but hey, I have a bad memory.
Salut,
~J
Day 10: Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Oh wow. This is a tough one. I have so many to choose from.
I guess I'll just describe the one I remember most. Here goes.
I was in class. It was a linguistics class. The time was around 1:25 PM, and the class ends around 1:45 PM. I was sitting near the front row of this lecture, and I was feeling sleepy (I sometimes need a nap around that time period). Anyway, I dozed off, and when I woke up, the class was empty. I looked around, thinking, "Wait, what time is it?" I checked my watch, and saw it was 2:50 PM. "Holy crap! I slept for over an hour!" Turns out, it was only 1:50 PM, and my watch was wrong. Whoops.
Not as embarrassing as most stories, but hey, I have a bad memory.
Salut,
~J
Monday 18 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 9
"You'll always be remembered. I promise."
I wish I got that kind reaction from you.
Day 9: List 10 people who have influenced you, and how.
From least to most important:
1. My orthodontist, Dr. Sarah. She's the person who directed me on to the path of my major right now.
2. Andrew MacMohan. His songs stopped me from going over the edge, from doing things I would have suffered consequences from.
3. My best friend, Shane. He reminded me, every now and then, that I have a friend.
4. The people I went to school with. They taught me that people will exclude you, and I grew more detached and isolated because of that experience.
5. My cousin, because he helped me have someone to talk to.
6. My parents, because they gave me the hard lesson that very few people will want to believe what you say.
7. Robert Jordan, who got me interested in the fantasy genre, and a role model (of sorts) in Mat Cauthon.
8. Frank Warren. His PostSecret project helped keep demons in check.
9. Him, for giving me an idea of how someone should be like if they want to get the girl of their dreams.
10. Her, for teaching me how to feel.
Salut,
~J
I wish I got that kind reaction from you.
Day 9: List 10 people who have influenced you, and how.
From least to most important:
1. My orthodontist, Dr. Sarah. She's the person who directed me on to the path of my major right now.
2. Andrew MacMohan. His songs stopped me from going over the edge, from doing things I would have suffered consequences from.
3. My best friend, Shane. He reminded me, every now and then, that I have a friend.
4. The people I went to school with. They taught me that people will exclude you, and I grew more detached and isolated because of that experience.
5. My cousin, because he helped me have someone to talk to.
6. My parents, because they gave me the hard lesson that very few people will want to believe what you say.
7. Robert Jordan, who got me interested in the fantasy genre, and a role model (of sorts) in Mat Cauthon.
8. Frank Warren. His PostSecret project helped keep demons in check.
9. Him, for giving me an idea of how someone should be like if they want to get the girl of their dreams.
10. Her, for teaching me how to feel.
Salut,
~J
Sunday 17 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 8
"It's what drives you, that fire in your veins."
You know... I really thought it was directed to me. And that it was going to negate what you wrote earlier. I guess I was wrong, as usual.
But I digress.
Day 8: What are 5 passions you have?
... Wow.
I just realized how I don't really have any passion for anything. This wasn't like back when I was in high school, and I tried defining myself with things like chess and maths; now, I don't really care anymore. I don't really have any care about fitting in, or being a part of something. I suppose I've given up on ever achieving that. I'll try and make stuff up, though.
Passion #1: Video games.
Closest thing I have for a passion. On the one hand, I grew up playing video games, and I love it. I love the story, the immersion, the interactivity of games, of being lost as I take part in another world, a world where I'm important, where I do things that affect other people.
Of course, I don't have multiple systems, nor do I play often, so I'm not sure whether it really does count as a passion.
Passion #2: Reading.
I love being immersed in a story. It helps remove me from the world I'm in now.
Passion #3: Languages.
Well, I guess I love languages. I mean, I want to learn them. I just don't put in the effort needed.
Passion #4: Reading depressing pictures and PostSecrets.
I mean, honestly, look at these!:
Passion #5: Music.
It dulls everything, sometimes.
Salut,
~J
You know... I really thought it was directed to me. And that it was going to negate what you wrote earlier. I guess I was wrong, as usual.
But I digress.
Day 8: What are 5 passions you have?
... Wow.
I just realized how I don't really have any passion for anything. This wasn't like back when I was in high school, and I tried defining myself with things like chess and maths; now, I don't really care anymore. I don't really have any care about fitting in, or being a part of something. I suppose I've given up on ever achieving that. I'll try and make stuff up, though.
Passion #1: Video games.
Closest thing I have for a passion. On the one hand, I grew up playing video games, and I love it. I love the story, the immersion, the interactivity of games, of being lost as I take part in another world, a world where I'm important, where I do things that affect other people.
Of course, I don't have multiple systems, nor do I play often, so I'm not sure whether it really does count as a passion.
Passion #2: Reading.
I love being immersed in a story. It helps remove me from the world I'm in now.
Passion #3: Languages.
Well, I guess I love languages. I mean, I want to learn them. I just don't put in the effort needed.
Passion #4: Reading depressing pictures and PostSecrets.
I mean, honestly, look at these!:
Passion #5: Music.
It dulls everything, sometimes.
Salut,
~J
Saturday 16 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 7
"Abstract thinkings in a different world."
Day 7: What is your dream job, and why?
As nerdy as this sounds, a job in statistics. I love how the numbers go together, how it's so intuitive and how everything is connected. It's amazing, and I'd love to be immersed in it.
Of course, I also wouldn't mind a job involving languages. Like say, being a translator. I love languages, and the ties it has to culture. Not to mention the lovely feeling I get when I understand what someone is saying. It's a thrill.
Salut,
~J
Day 7: What is your dream job, and why?
As nerdy as this sounds, a job in statistics. I love how the numbers go together, how it's so intuitive and how everything is connected. It's amazing, and I'd love to be immersed in it.
Of course, I also wouldn't mind a job involving languages. Like say, being a translator. I love languages, and the ties it has to culture. Not to mention the lovely feeling I get when I understand what someone is saying. It's a thrill.
Salut,
~J
Friday 15 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 6
"Not every experience is for the better. The other side's grass is not always greener."
Day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
Heh. This is a dirty joke just begging to be made.
Anyway.
This is pretty difficult to answer. I can't decide between my move when I was 10, my string of rejections, or my current disposition.
How about I go with all three?
All three were the hardest things I've ever had the misfortune of experiencing, and they each shaped (or are shaping me) in ways that were not necessarily better.
Salut,
~J
Day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
Heh. This is a dirty joke just begging to be made.
Anyway.
This is pretty difficult to answer. I can't decide between my move when I was 10, my string of rejections, or my current disposition.
How about I go with all three?
All three were the hardest things I've ever had the misfortune of experiencing, and they each shaped (or are shaping me) in ways that were not necessarily better.
Salut,
~J
Thursday 14 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 5
"Fleeting, these moments, and lost to time, as all things are."
I have to say, this was a hard one.
Day 5: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
1. Anticipation of playing video games. Sure, I'm not actually under any ability to play anything right now, but the very anticipation of these games that I can play is definitely something that helps push me along.
2. Spotify. With so many music on, it's so good at soothing me. I can't imagine how I'd plug on without Jack's Mannequin, Barenaked Ladies and Sum 41 blasting in my ear.
3. My books. The stuff I get to read while I'm waiting, things that stop me from thinking.
4. Time at where I work. Continuously being around people, and my stupid compulsion to just speak, helps keeps thoughts at bay. For the most part.
5. The rare times I get to eat actual food. Bliss.
Salut,
~J
I have to say, this was a hard one.
Day 5: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
1. Anticipation of playing video games. Sure, I'm not actually under any ability to play anything right now, but the very anticipation of these games that I can play is definitely something that helps push me along.
2. Spotify. With so many music on, it's so good at soothing me. I can't imagine how I'd plug on without Jack's Mannequin, Barenaked Ladies and Sum 41 blasting in my ear.
3. My books. The stuff I get to read while I'm waiting, things that stop me from thinking.
4. Time at where I work. Continuously being around people, and my stupid compulsion to just speak, helps keeps thoughts at bay. For the most part.
5. The rare times I get to eat actual food. Bliss.
Salut,
~J
Wednesday 13 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 4
"One day, somehow, I'll turn back the clock and make things better."
So. I just realized that my blog was in the wrong timezone, and that pretty much all of my posts weren't in the right time. Oh well. Eso si que es.
Day 4: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
1. Stop talking to girls. Yes, I know that they're the only group of people you feel any kind of comfort talking with, but you'll end up becoming flirty, and then you start sending out wrong signals girls you're not interested in, which ends up with girls you weren't even interested in rejecting you.
2. Stop. Just stop. Stop being romantic, stop being sweet. Stop thinking that the girls you're into want a guy that's sweet and romantic. They don't, at least not yet, and you don't want to know how badly things end up for you.
3. People will hurt you. No, worse than what's already happened. Remember that, and steel yourself for what's ahead.
4. You will screw up. Just remember that it's part of learning.
5. Here's a heads up: People will leave.
6. Stop saying hi to people you see in school. None of them will remember you out of school, except in passing, and none of them will ever invite you out.
7. Stop reminding people when your birthday is near, and stop inviting people to your birthday parties. It's not worth it.
8. If you ever hear that someone likes you, ignore it, or ask her out. Do not obsess over it.
9. You were right. It really is better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
10. You will feel. You will even feel happiness. It may not last, and you'll feel pain when it ends, but cherish it while it lasts.
Salut,
~J
So. I just realized that my blog was in the wrong timezone, and that pretty much all of my posts weren't in the right time. Oh well. Eso si que es.
Day 4: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
1. Stop talking to girls. Yes, I know that they're the only group of people you feel any kind of comfort talking with, but you'll end up becoming flirty, and then you start sending out wrong signals girls you're not interested in, which ends up with girls you weren't even interested in rejecting you.
2. Stop. Just stop. Stop being romantic, stop being sweet. Stop thinking that the girls you're into want a guy that's sweet and romantic. They don't, at least not yet, and you don't want to know how badly things end up for you.
3. People will hurt you. No, worse than what's already happened. Remember that, and steel yourself for what's ahead.
4. You will screw up. Just remember that it's part of learning.
5. Here's a heads up: People will leave.
6. Stop saying hi to people you see in school. None of them will remember you out of school, except in passing, and none of them will ever invite you out.
7. Stop reminding people when your birthday is near, and stop inviting people to your birthday parties. It's not worth it.
8. If you ever hear that someone likes you, ignore it, or ask her out. Do not obsess over it.
9. You were right. It really is better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
10. You will feel. You will even feel happiness. It may not last, and you'll feel pain when it ends, but cherish it while it lasts.
Salut,
~J
Tuesday 12 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 3
"Some choices are not choices, but simply the illusion of one."
Day 3: Describe the relationship with your parents
They're my parents. They took care of me when I was younger, and show concern over me, and at the same time, restrict things from me, and only allow me opportunities that they want, and not what I want.
It's kinda hard to describe.
Salut,
~J
Day 3: Describe the relationship with your parents
They're my parents. They took care of me when I was younger, and show concern over me, and at the same time, restrict things from me, and only allow me opportunities that they want, and not what I want.
It's kinda hard to describe.
Salut,
~J
Monday 11 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 2
"A little bit of fear is healthy. A lot is fatal."
Just finished typing it all up, and hey, it's almost midnight! At least I got this done in time, with... 6 minutes to spare.
Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
Fear #1: My Fear Of Heights
I have an odd relationship with my fear of heights. On the one hand, I absolutely love roller coasters, and I have these urges to try skydiving and bungee jumping. On the other hand, I can barely climb on top of a ladder without feeling the need to piss my pants, and just being on a swing is a terrifying experience, when I'm at the top of the arc.
I don't even know when or why this fear manifested itself. All I know is that within a certain range of heights, I can not look down, or I will come close to pissing myself in fear.
Fear #2: My Fear Of Not Being Heard
I suppose this is because I've always been a timid person. Quiet voice, lack of interesting things to say... It's part of why I love my online persona; everyone has an equal chance of being heard, of having their thoughts listened to, and thought about. In meatspace, that doesn't really work out well for me.
Fear #3: My Fear Of Rejection
This is more complicated than it sounds. I don't just mean being rejected by a girl, like if I was to ask a girl out. I mean all kinds of rejection; I almost did not apply to any university because I was too scared of being rejected by any of them, that whatever I did, no matter what I wrote in my application... none of those would be good enough. That I wouldn't be good enough.
This has a more explainable reason. At least, if my theory has any basis to it. Throughout high school, I attempted to ask girls out; or, to be more precise, I would confess to them that I had feelings for them. They weren't put on the spot to go out with me, or anything. I just thought it would be a nice gesture to tell them: They would feel better about themselves (you know, the fact that someone likes them) and I get the burden of keeping it secret off my chest.
Of course, not a single one of them ever reacted well to it. At best, I got ignored, and at worst, I had this girl - who was a really sweet person, and invariably agreed to be the nicest and most innocent girl you would meet - literally swear at me, and tell me to leave her alone. All I did was send her a text saying, "Hey, how are you?" (at least, something to that effect) and I was barely doing it once every three days, let alone everyday.
It also doesn't help that I didn't really have any friends then. To be more precise, I didn't have friends who would include me in anything, excepting times when they had to. Like, I would be there when they were planning a study group, and then accidentally forget to invite me. Every time, too. Plus, I also end up hearing about other gatherings and the like that happened after they happened.
So it comes to the point where I don't even want to try anymore. I don't call people to hang out, I don't really put an effort into keeping up with friends, I don't even really add people on FaceBook. I'm just crippled by this fear of rejection, of not being wanted by anything or anyone.
Salut,
~J
Just finished typing it all up, and hey, it's almost midnight! At least I got this done in time, with... 6 minutes to spare.
Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
Fear #1: My Fear Of Heights
I have an odd relationship with my fear of heights. On the one hand, I absolutely love roller coasters, and I have these urges to try skydiving and bungee jumping. On the other hand, I can barely climb on top of a ladder without feeling the need to piss my pants, and just being on a swing is a terrifying experience, when I'm at the top of the arc.
I don't even know when or why this fear manifested itself. All I know is that within a certain range of heights, I can not look down, or I will come close to pissing myself in fear.
Fear #2: My Fear Of Not Being Heard
I suppose this is because I've always been a timid person. Quiet voice, lack of interesting things to say... It's part of why I love my online persona; everyone has an equal chance of being heard, of having their thoughts listened to, and thought about. In meatspace, that doesn't really work out well for me.
Fear #3: My Fear Of Rejection
This is more complicated than it sounds. I don't just mean being rejected by a girl, like if I was to ask a girl out. I mean all kinds of rejection; I almost did not apply to any university because I was too scared of being rejected by any of them, that whatever I did, no matter what I wrote in my application... none of those would be good enough. That I wouldn't be good enough.
This has a more explainable reason. At least, if my theory has any basis to it. Throughout high school, I attempted to ask girls out; or, to be more precise, I would confess to them that I had feelings for them. They weren't put on the spot to go out with me, or anything. I just thought it would be a nice gesture to tell them: They would feel better about themselves (you know, the fact that someone likes them) and I get the burden of keeping it secret off my chest.
Of course, not a single one of them ever reacted well to it. At best, I got ignored, and at worst, I had this girl - who was a really sweet person, and invariably agreed to be the nicest and most innocent girl you would meet - literally swear at me, and tell me to leave her alone. All I did was send her a text saying, "Hey, how are you?" (at least, something to that effect) and I was barely doing it once every three days, let alone everyday.
It also doesn't help that I didn't really have any friends then. To be more precise, I didn't have friends who would include me in anything, excepting times when they had to. Like, I would be there when they were planning a study group, and then accidentally forget to invite me. Every time, too. Plus, I also end up hearing about other gatherings and the like that happened after they happened.
So it comes to the point where I don't even want to try anymore. I don't call people to hang out, I don't really put an effort into keeping up with friends, I don't even really add people on FaceBook. I'm just crippled by this fear of rejection, of not being wanted by anything or anyone.
Salut,
~J
Sunday 10 November 2013
30 Day Challenge: Day 1
"It's hard to believe some things."
Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself
1. I don't like making a list about myself.
2. I listen to all kinds of music, though I prefer songs where I can clearly hear the lyrics.
3. I grew up playing the PlayStation.
4. I have OCD.
5. I dislike turning my laptop off.
6. I read a lot.
7. I'm extremely lazy.
8. I should be studying right now for a test I have tomorrow.
9. I like girls with short hair because of Elli, from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature.
10. A lot of my choices in life are because of video games, particularly from my childhood.
11. I think Digimon is better than Pokemon.
12. I'm bad at keeping in contact with people.
13. I have irrational fears.
14. I'm pretty short, and I don't really like it.
15. I'm running out of things to say.
16. I'm not particularly creative.
17. Seeing most of these in the first person is pretty unsettling to me.
18. I'm not good with people giving me attention.
19. I talk a lot because I'm not good in social situations.
20. I love languages, and want my kids to be polyglots.
Salut,
~J
Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself
1. I don't like making a list about myself.
2. I listen to all kinds of music, though I prefer songs where I can clearly hear the lyrics.
3. I grew up playing the PlayStation.
4. I have OCD.
5. I dislike turning my laptop off.
6. I read a lot.
7. I'm extremely lazy.
8. I should be studying right now for a test I have tomorrow.
9. I like girls with short hair because of Elli, from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature.
10. A lot of my choices in life are because of video games, particularly from my childhood.
11. I think Digimon is better than Pokemon.
12. I'm bad at keeping in contact with people.
13. I have irrational fears.
14. I'm pretty short, and I don't really like it.
15. I'm running out of things to say.
16. I'm not particularly creative.
17. Seeing most of these in the first person is pretty unsettling to me.
18. I'm not good with people giving me attention.
19. I talk a lot because I'm not good in social situations.
20. I love languages, and want my kids to be polyglots.
Salut,
~J
30 Day Challenge
"That's what the bandwagon's for."
Self-explanatory. Let's see if I can keep this up consistently for 30 days.
Self-explanatory. Let's see if I can keep this up consistently for 30 days.
 |
| For reference |
Dovie'andi se tovya sagain. Even though that doesn't really fit here.
Salut,
~J
Ridiculous
"Some things just make no sense."
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?!
YouTube won't let me make any kind of comment until I update my channel? I can't just leave things as they are?!
UGH I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS B.S.!
For God's sake. Of course this would happen tonight. GAH.
Salut,
~J
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?!
YouTube won't let me make any kind of comment until I update my channel? I can't just leave things as they are?!
UGH I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS B.S.!
For God's sake. Of course this would happen tonight. GAH.
Salut,
~J
Powerless
"What about the little guy? What about us, the people with no power? What hope do we have?"
So today happened.
Not much that I planned happened today. First off, I woke up late, and ended up not hanging out with the Waddles. Of course, I slept late the night before, so I guess that was my fault.
I didn't really have much planned other than that. It was great, being able to watch an episode of Ghost Adventures with her again. I missed that. I also walked around campus tonight, because I wanted to watch Elysium.
I was more interested to watch Elysium this weekend, and yet We're The Millers was the better film. There's probably some kind of lesson to be learned in there somewhere, probably about how raising your expectations screws things up for you, but I'm too tired to really think about it.
Tired.
We're becoming close friends, the both of us. I mean, I'm not particularly thrilled by his insistence to always be around, every day and every night, but I suppose we're bonding. Or it could just be a case of Stockholm Syndrome. I don't even know anymore.
Funnily enough, I ended up getting removed from being friends with someone. I wasn't close to her in the slightest, but it was funny how poorly she handled it. All I did was speak out against someone she was close to, and do it quite politely, I might add, and instead of saying anything, or even asking me to stop, boom: I was removed. Very poorly handled.
Well, sarcastically funny, I suppose. Memory lane is just full of hidden pits.
The walk around downtown was nice, though. I liked the little sweaters around some of the trees. It was pretty cute. I wish I had decent photos to put up here, but the phone I have has a crap camera, so you can barely see them anyway.
Which somehow reminds me, I got a new debit card from the bank. Apparently they're changing from Visa to MasterCard, so now I'm stuck with a new card, and now I have to edit all the sites that use my card automatically, like for my phone bill, and Netflix. That's going to be fun. So fun.
Of course, this guy screws up my girls' plans for a friends birthday. He said he'd do the work, even though she said she wanted to do it herself, and by the end of the night, he tells her he was too tired to do it. I was on the phone with her as she cried, and I couldn't do anything about it.
Just a perfect indicator of my purpose in life.
This hoodie is getting warm indoors, but I don't want to take it off. I dunno, it just... it feels like it's the only thing I have left that connects me to her. Wow, that sounds stupider than it was in my head. Oh well, not going to delete that.
It's a different kind of pain. It's like a slow burn. I'm not even sure how to explain it. It's like there's wire gauze around it and is slowly stripping pieces away. Maybe I'm thinking more of sandpaper. I dunno. Maybe I'm just slowly being roasted and dried out. That could be it, too.
I'm worried all this pushing will push me over the edge. Well, again, I mean. Then again, I've been clinging on, even though my fingers are sore, my arms are tired, and I just want to fall into the void, like how it used to be.
Pushed around, pushed away, I'm always just being pushed pushed pushed.
Maybe I'm just always annoying. Not that that would be a surprise to find out. I've hardly ever been charismatic, or charming, or interesting. Added to the fact that I have been called annoying.
I should try just shutting up for a day, see what happens.
Heh. I just looked at my new card, and the new expiry date kinda looks like my birthday. It got an amused smile; I wonder if it was intentional? Probably not, since it's month/year, but still, it was amusing to look at.
Not a good night tonight. FaceBook is being a dickhead and isn't loading, at all. Well, it does load. It just jams up and doesn't allow me to do anything.
Sigh.
I guess Life's telling me to watch TV, or play video games, or something. Though with my luck, that would just end with my TV blowing a fuse, or the arrival of the YLOD. Not gonna risk it. I'll just read, then. At least a Kindle is cheaper, and I can always buy another book.
I'd sleep, but I'd probably end up tearing my bedsheet or something.
Not a good night, indeed.
Salut,
~J
So today happened.
Not much that I planned happened today. First off, I woke up late, and ended up not hanging out with the Waddles. Of course, I slept late the night before, so I guess that was my fault.
I didn't really have much planned other than that. It was great, being able to watch an episode of Ghost Adventures with her again. I missed that. I also walked around campus tonight, because I wanted to watch Elysium.
I was more interested to watch Elysium this weekend, and yet We're The Millers was the better film. There's probably some kind of lesson to be learned in there somewhere, probably about how raising your expectations screws things up for you, but I'm too tired to really think about it.
Tired.
We're becoming close friends, the both of us. I mean, I'm not particularly thrilled by his insistence to always be around, every day and every night, but I suppose we're bonding. Or it could just be a case of Stockholm Syndrome. I don't even know anymore.
Funnily enough, I ended up getting removed from being friends with someone. I wasn't close to her in the slightest, but it was funny how poorly she handled it. All I did was speak out against someone she was close to, and do it quite politely, I might add, and instead of saying anything, or even asking me to stop, boom: I was removed. Very poorly handled.
Well, sarcastically funny, I suppose. Memory lane is just full of hidden pits.
The walk around downtown was nice, though. I liked the little sweaters around some of the trees. It was pretty cute. I wish I had decent photos to put up here, but the phone I have has a crap camera, so you can barely see them anyway.
Which somehow reminds me, I got a new debit card from the bank. Apparently they're changing from Visa to MasterCard, so now I'm stuck with a new card, and now I have to edit all the sites that use my card automatically, like for my phone bill, and Netflix. That's going to be fun. So fun.
Of course, this guy screws up my girls' plans for a friends birthday. He said he'd do the work, even though she said she wanted to do it herself, and by the end of the night, he tells her he was too tired to do it. I was on the phone with her as she cried, and I couldn't do anything about it.
Just a perfect indicator of my purpose in life.
This hoodie is getting warm indoors, but I don't want to take it off. I dunno, it just... it feels like it's the only thing I have left that connects me to her. Wow, that sounds stupider than it was in my head. Oh well, not going to delete that.
It's a different kind of pain. It's like a slow burn. I'm not even sure how to explain it. It's like there's wire gauze around it and is slowly stripping pieces away. Maybe I'm thinking more of sandpaper. I dunno. Maybe I'm just slowly being roasted and dried out. That could be it, too.
I'm worried all this pushing will push me over the edge. Well, again, I mean. Then again, I've been clinging on, even though my fingers are sore, my arms are tired, and I just want to fall into the void, like how it used to be.
Pushed around, pushed away, I'm always just being pushed pushed pushed.
Maybe I'm just always annoying. Not that that would be a surprise to find out. I've hardly ever been charismatic, or charming, or interesting. Added to the fact that I have been called annoying.
I should try just shutting up for a day, see what happens.
Heh. I just looked at my new card, and the new expiry date kinda looks like my birthday. It got an amused smile; I wonder if it was intentional? Probably not, since it's month/year, but still, it was amusing to look at.
Not a good night tonight. FaceBook is being a dickhead and isn't loading, at all. Well, it does load. It just jams up and doesn't allow me to do anything.
Sigh.
I guess Life's telling me to watch TV, or play video games, or something. Though with my luck, that would just end with my TV blowing a fuse, or the arrival of the YLOD. Not gonna risk it. I'll just read, then. At least a Kindle is cheaper, and I can always buy another book.
I'd sleep, but I'd probably end up tearing my bedsheet or something.
Not a good night, indeed.
Salut,
~J
Saturday 9 November 2013
Friday, the new Monday
"Run, run, run. Run when you're tired, run while you can; run for Time waits for no man."
It's one of those weeks. I can't even remember what day it is half the time. For over half the week, I kept thinking it was the wrong day. I thought it was Wednesday on Tuesday, that it was Monday on Wednesday, that it was Friday on Thursday and could barely remember that it really was Friday today.
I hate it when my mind goes all stupid like this.
I think it was all the caffeine I've been drinking.
I had a quiz today, which I almost didn't study for. I only remembered I had it last night, and I barely studied, but hey, at least I studied. Hopefully I got the stuff all correct. I felt like I did, but what do I know. I thought I did pretty decently for my programming midterm, and I failed it. I felt more confident about the midterm last Tuesday, but all I can do is just keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.
I should be typing out the notes for my class. Well. Not should be; the social site is awesome and all, and I'm sure a ton of people didn't quite get the notes, since the slides went phenomenally quickly, and I kinda feel bad about not sharing them but... I dunno. I don't feel bothered to do it.
Maybe I'll wait until someone asks for it. That's what I usually do, anyway.
Listening to One Week on Spotify right now; I have no idea how I survived without it. I need music to continuously play in the background. I mean, I didn't, or more like, I used to need it, and then I didn't, and now-
You know what, I'd rather not continue that. It's giving me headache.
So where was I again? Oh right. Spotify. I have like, Jack's Mannequin, Sum 41, Barenaked Ladies, Something Corporate, Secondhand Serenade... I just realized I don't have Axis of Awesome on my playlist. I should have them.
Maybe later. If I remember.
I watched "We're the Millers" earlier today. It was a better film than I thought it would be. Pretty hilarious, and even though it didn't start being good until like, 20 or so minutes in, when it got going, it was great. I loved how even though you know what's going to happen, they still managed to pull it off well.
Definitely would recommend it.
I might watch Elysium tomorrow night. Depends on how tired I am.
This might actually be a pretty busy weekend. I'll be spending tomorrow with the Waddles, and I have that meeting on Sunday. I'm both anticipating and dreading all of this.
I'm just so tired.
Speaking of which, I feel like I should sleep now. It's not like I'm doing anything productive, even though I have a damn midterm on Monday.
I'll just wing it. Worst-case scenario: I'll answer the French paper in Malay. I'm sure that'll work.
Salut,
~J
It's one of those weeks. I can't even remember what day it is half the time. For over half the week, I kept thinking it was the wrong day. I thought it was Wednesday on Tuesday, that it was Monday on Wednesday, that it was Friday on Thursday and could barely remember that it really was Friday today.
I hate it when my mind goes all stupid like this.
I think it was all the caffeine I've been drinking.
I had a quiz today, which I almost didn't study for. I only remembered I had it last night, and I barely studied, but hey, at least I studied. Hopefully I got the stuff all correct. I felt like I did, but what do I know. I thought I did pretty decently for my programming midterm, and I failed it. I felt more confident about the midterm last Tuesday, but all I can do is just keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.
I should be typing out the notes for my class. Well. Not should be; the social site is awesome and all, and I'm sure a ton of people didn't quite get the notes, since the slides went phenomenally quickly, and I kinda feel bad about not sharing them but... I dunno. I don't feel bothered to do it.
Maybe I'll wait until someone asks for it. That's what I usually do, anyway.
Listening to One Week on Spotify right now; I have no idea how I survived without it. I need music to continuously play in the background. I mean, I didn't, or more like, I used to need it, and then I didn't, and now-
You know what, I'd rather not continue that. It's giving me headache.
So where was I again? Oh right. Spotify. I have like, Jack's Mannequin, Sum 41, Barenaked Ladies, Something Corporate, Secondhand Serenade... I just realized I don't have Axis of Awesome on my playlist. I should have them.
Maybe later. If I remember.
I watched "We're the Millers" earlier today. It was a better film than I thought it would be. Pretty hilarious, and even though it didn't start being good until like, 20 or so minutes in, when it got going, it was great. I loved how even though you know what's going to happen, they still managed to pull it off well.
Definitely would recommend it.
I might watch Elysium tomorrow night. Depends on how tired I am.
This might actually be a pretty busy weekend. I'll be spending tomorrow with the Waddles, and I have that meeting on Sunday. I'm both anticipating and dreading all of this.
I'm just so tired.
Speaking of which, I feel like I should sleep now. It's not like I'm doing anything productive, even though I have a damn midterm on Monday.
I'll just wing it. Worst-case scenario: I'll answer the French paper in Malay. I'm sure that'll work.
Salut,
~J
Friday 8 November 2013
Poundings
"Even the strongest have their moments of weakness, and I'm not that strong."
Two days of late afternoon coffee drinks has messed up my hormonal system.
I should sleep, before my head explodes. I need to.
Goddammit.
Salut,
~J
Two days of late afternoon coffee drinks has messed up my hormonal system.
I should sleep, before my head explodes. I need to.
Goddammit.
Salut,
~J
Thursday 7 November 2013
Catharsis.
"There's only so much bending it can do."
I've been hiding from the truth
I've been battered, been broken, been buried now I'm death proof.
Jack's Mannequin is speaking to me, better than ever before.
I miss this.
I missed feeling the urge to write.
The urge to spew words down, the urge to have volumes and volumes written down, regardless of how good or bad they are.
It's just...
That urge itself. I missed it.
I don't even remember the trade-off anymore.
I mean, it was obvious, when I lost it. It's not so clear now, though.
Write, write, write.
I'm even starting my story, for once. The one that has been on the back burner for years. Maybe even close to a decade. I can't even remember the last time I actually needed to write a story. A story.
At least three years now. Maybe longer. Probably longer.
Painful realizations are hard to swallow. Hard to accept. Hard to face down.
But it's not as if it frees you. Maybe sometime in the future. But not while it's there.
The creativity is flowing. Well, beginning its trickle. I can start seeing the shapes and forms of half-envisioned poems. The stirrings of imagination, the breath of reanimation of my creative shadow, all of it starting to rouse.
I was convinced that it was dead. Or in a coma, at least. I guess, all this time, it was really just hibernating.
My confidence is in crisis mode,
Well your fingertips they know the code.
And frankly, I'm scared.
Salut,
~J
I've been hiding from the truth
I've been battered, been broken, been buried now I'm death proof.
Jack's Mannequin is speaking to me, better than ever before.
I miss this.
I missed feeling the urge to write.
The urge to spew words down, the urge to have volumes and volumes written down, regardless of how good or bad they are.
It's just...
That urge itself. I missed it.
I don't even remember the trade-off anymore.
I mean, it was obvious, when I lost it. It's not so clear now, though.
Write, write, write.
I'm even starting my story, for once. The one that has been on the back burner for years. Maybe even close to a decade. I can't even remember the last time I actually needed to write a story. A story.
At least three years now. Maybe longer. Probably longer.
Painful realizations are hard to swallow. Hard to accept. Hard to face down.
But it's not as if it frees you. Maybe sometime in the future. But not while it's there.
The creativity is flowing. Well, beginning its trickle. I can start seeing the shapes and forms of half-envisioned poems. The stirrings of imagination, the breath of reanimation of my creative shadow, all of it starting to rouse.
I was convinced that it was dead. Or in a coma, at least. I guess, all this time, it was really just hibernating.
My confidence is in crisis mode,
Well your fingertips they know the code.
And frankly, I'm scared.
Salut,
~J
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