Dead, ressurected, dead

"My number one philosophy in life is this: God before parents, parents before family (this means siblings, relatives, kids, spouse, etc.), family before friends, friends before acquaintances, acquaintances before strangers and strangers before myself. I don't care what you think of it, but that's how I live my life."

I don't believe it. I really don't freaking believe it. I got rejected by a girl because I was "too nice". What kind of reason is that?!

All this while, I thought that girls liked guys that were nice. Man, if what I thought was actually the opposite of what's true... Arrh! I haven't been living life properly! Ha ha, I'm just joking about that. I like the way I am, although it is a bit unsettling that girls will reject me for "being me", so to speak.

Thankfully though, the girl that rejected me wasn't the one, not by a long shot. There's loads of other girls, and like my friend says, "One girl down another 7 billion to go!". Ha ha, yeah, I thought there were more girls too. Ha ha!

Speaking of "the one"... I think I've found her. She really fits and everything. I'm skeptical though, judging by my current failures with the female species. That, and because I'm only 15. I'm not supposed to find "the one" yet. So, yeah. I'm gonna keep an eye out on here, and if I still think that she's "the one" after a period of time (I'm not gonna say when or who, in case I jinx it), I'm gonna go and ask her out.

Yes, me, ask her out. You can stop laughing now.

God, I'm addicted to this song, especially since it fits my love life exactly. Of course, I'm not going to put in the song's title or singer in here, since I know my cousins read this. Ha ha, you gotta blame them, not me.

Is it "wedding season" right now? There's suddenly so many weddings. My neighbours had weddings yesterday, and it was creepy to see a lot of people getting married at around the same time. Not only that, but my cousin, (a serial dater, by the way) got married last week. My cousin Luqman and I had to be the "security guards" for the wedding (No, really. We had to hold these spears and stand next to the bride and groom and be their guards) and it was fun. The adults couldn't make up their minds though, on what our facial expression should be. When we smiled, they scolded us. When we looked serious, they made fun of us. Nice, real nice.

The wedding was held on the Saturday after my PMR trials, (to those that don't know, PMR is Malaysia's equivalent to Britain's O levels. Or something like that) which was really convenient for me. Don't get me started on the trials. It was freaking hard! Okay, so maybe I'm over exaggerating the exams a bit, but I'm not kidding for the Geography and Life Studies papers. I got a "C" for Geography (honestly, I'm quite glad that I passed. Yes, it was that difficult) and the highest mark was 82%. Fortunately it was a guy. Go men! Ha ha, sorry, bias moment. Heh.

I'm not sure about the other papers, but I'm kinda confident that I'll be able to ace Math. Ha ha, I always ace Math, so that kinda goes without saying. (I'm not bragging, merely being honest. I'm kinda gifted at Math for some reason, so I ace it every time) I'm not too worried about my Islamic Studies, but I'm a nervous wreck for Life Studies and History. I don't know why, but I just feel un-confident about it. Yes, I know "un-confident" isn't a word. Yet. I just made it up. Sue me.

Arrrrh!!!! I don't know why my parents suddenly want to go on outings with all of us these past two days. Sure, I like hanging out with my parents and all (no sarcasm here; I really mean it), but I wanted to go to Random Alphabets' RWP (Read while Waiting Project), where everyone that joins (most of them Random Agents - I'm one of them, for your information) is trying to promote reading. It's a good cause, and I love doing anything that RA's leader Zain H.D. can think of. His plans are always fun, and they always have a good message of some kind.

Unfortunately, I couldn't go. It was being held simultaneously with other cities like Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Singapore to name a few. To those that went, tell me what happened! Was it successful? Has reading been promoted at all? I need to know!!!

Anyways, I went and watched a few movies with my family, and the movie we first wanted to watch was "Don't Mess With The Zohan". That was one of our biggest mistakes ever. There was so many perverted and dirty scenes in it that I'm shocked that it's rated "U"! We blamed Dad for the choice, because he chose that movie. Ha ha, yeah. The next day, (which was yesterday) we watched "Wall-E". To those that haven't watched it yet, I highly recommend it! Wait, lemme just emphasize it a bit more. I highly recommend watching it!

I watched it twice and I loved it both times. Once was with my cousin, which was earlier in the week and the other time was with my family yesterday. Both times, I laughed and cried (yes, I cried. Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean that I'm devoid of any feelings. And just 'cause I cried doesn't mean that I'm a wuss, a sensitive romantic or a homosexual!) at all the same times. 8.5 over 10 (it's not 9.5 because the opening was kinda... Slow, to be honest). Zohan gets 5, but only because I'm in a good mood right now.

School's gonna start tomorrow. I'm not sure whether to be anxious, worried or relieved. So I'm gonna be all three. On the one hand, I'll finally be able to meet my friends again, I'm gonna get my exam papers and see how badly (or, if a miracle happens, good) I did, and I'll be able to see the girl I think is "the one" plus I get to finally do something, instead of stay at home doing nothing but watch TV and... *Shudder* Study. On the other hand... It's school. You can see my obvious dilemma on what emotion to be feeling, don't you?

Right, then. This will probably be my last blog post until about 18th of October. The reason being my PMR is coming soon, and I have to study an extra extra amount. Yes, the extra was doubled on purpose for emphasis. *Sigh* I'm gonna miss blogging. And reading people's blog. And annoying people in cyberspace until they log out. Good times, good times... Ha ha, I guess I'm going to end this post now. It's getting a wee bit too long.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Here's a post for people who want to understand Islam accurately:

Ten Things People Should Know About Islam

P.P.S. Luqman, I want my pencil case back!

Something unbreakable was almost broken

"Don't listen to what other people say. Sing your own song, dance to your own beat, say your own lines and laugh at your own jokes. Live life your way, so don't take this advice just because I told you to."

Not asking her out is turns out to actually be a really good idea. Oh, right, you don't know about it.

Well, when I was in Standard 3 (or 4, the details are sketchy), I made a vow to myself to not date anyone unless I found the one. The reason? I want her to be my real and true soulmate. Not just some girl that I'd probably breakup with after a few months, weeks, days, dates and etc. Until now, I don't think I've really found her yet, so if I asked her, my vow would be broken.

Which is why it's a good thing I changed my mind. Now you're probably wondering how I'd know who the one is? Well, that's easy. She'd make me feel different than if I was with anyone else. I'd do things that are degrading and humiliating (because if she really IS the one, she wouldn't make me do anything like that), and I wouldn't even have to know her to feel that "chemistry" that you only get with really close friends.

Though, my cousins and parents are skeptical about this. They have this really weird idea that I can only find the one after dating a lot of girls. That way I could quote my Mum, "know what I like and what I don't like", unquote. Yes, that's why she wanted to set me up on a blind date.

Seriously, though, I'm interested to know how the one will look like. Another sure sign is that my family and friends will love her. Also, we'd be total opposites yet have everything in common. Aaah, it's hard to explain that one, really actually. Plus, I'll just know.

Alright, enough about that. I have to mention that I won't be posting this weekend (which is why I'm posting today. I'm supposed to be redoing my stupid History Folio (for some reason, I got it back twice while everyone in my class only got it back once - how is that fair?!).

I'll be at a camp this weekend, and I'm really reluctant to go. It's not because it's an Islamic camp - that's the aspect that I'm interested in - no, it's just that I don't like camps. Don't ask why, I just don't. It's not because I had a bad camping experience when I was younger (I didn't) or because I don't know how to camp (look, I may be a city boy, but I act like a village kid; I just prefer technology. Ha ha). It's just that... Actually, I don't have any actual reason why. At least my consolation is that I won't have to go to school this Saturday. We're having extra classes. I don't have anything against learning, but school doesn't let me go to my full potential. Besides, when are we ever going to need to know certain things such as how to find the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle?!

Wow, what started as a "It's a good reason I'm not going to date" post is quickly becoming my regular ramblings. Meh, must be my natural instinct to write. Ha ha! Nah, I was just joking about that. Unlike what people think, I don't brag (except to brag about me not bragging. But that's a different whole 'nother story)

To everyone reading, I need to ask. In this aspect, am I normal? No, not the "bragging" thing. It's just that, when it comes to music, I prefer songs from the old days. Songs by ABBA, Air Supply, Westlife, Dawn, to name a few. Songs such as "Super Trouper", "Every Woman In The World To Me", "Fool Again", "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree" and etc. At 15 years of age. As a teenager, is that normal? Because except for certain songs and bands, the ones with great lyrics or exceptional music respectively, I'd rather listen to these "Oldies", as my generation puts it.

To be frank, music nowadays are going downhill. There's more style than substance. Except for those especially nice ones, the ones with deep meanings like OneRepublic's "Apologize" (to those of you that don't know, it's by OneRepublic, not Timbaland. Timbaland ruined it when he remixed it), about a guy that no longer will accept his girlfriend's apologies anymore. Or emotionally meaningful ones like Sum 41's "Address This Letter (Dear Father)", which is about a guy whose Dad left him when he was a kid, and he wants to tell his Dad that he (the guy) wishes he (the Dad) never left, but he's being just fine without his Dad.

Yes, my generation has lost the true meaning of quality music. How can people listen to eardrum damaging songs that not only not make sense, but if they do make sense, it's about something totally irrelevant to life.

Wanna know what I hate about my "peers"? They think that music by groups and/or bands like the ones stated above are "mushy love songs". Yes, they're love songs. Yes, sometimes they're mushy. But have you actually took the time to actually listen to them? Try listening to Dawn featuring Tony Orlando's "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree". It's about a guy, who, after three years of being in prison, sends a letter to his lover that if she still loves him, she must tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree. If she doesn't, he'll take the hint and leave, as well as take the blame. When he sees the tree, however, he sees one thousand yellow ribbons! The song is about true love. If you don't like that concept, then you're nothing but a cynical being. Not worth being called a human.

Or how about Air Supply's "Every Woman In The World"? I want you guys and girls to actually listen to that song. And actually listen to the lyrics. If you can honestly say that it was the worst piece of merde that you've ever heard (mind my French), then, well, you honestly don't deserve my attention nor respect. I'm not saying I'm better than you, but I am saying that I don't want to waste time on people like this.

Oh my God, French is so freaking hard to learn! But man, once you know how to say certain things, it feels really good. So now I'm going to change my endings. I won't be using "Till next time" anymore. I'm just letting you know. Alright, I've gotta go now. Homework and all.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Aboo, my pet monkey, got interviewed by the school newspeople. More on that next time.

New and improved

"I've always wondered about the 'new and improved' saying. How can something new be improved, if it's never been made before?"

You'll never guess what I just got. Go on, guess!

Right. You know, that line will never be understood by me. If I'm just told that I'd never be able to guess it, then why the heck would I waste my time trying in the first place? Am I right or am I right?

Anyways, on to my actual reason for posting. I had my hair cut! It was long and now it's... Not long. It's basically the same as my old hairstyle, only shorter. Um... Yeah, I never knew how pathetic I was until I read that a few times, over and over again. Okay, not really pathetic. But still, you've got to be something to have the same old hairstyle even after a haircut!

I just wanted to add, my headache is still going strong. It's as if it [the pain] has it's own personal mission to hurt me. Fortunately, though, he (yes, I'm calling my pain "he") tends to get tired longer and longer now. It used to hurt all the time, but now, it hurts only painfully in the afternoon until night, and random times in the morning. And loud sounds still make him wake up with a vengeance. Other than those times, though, he's peacefully sleeping, and I'd like to keep him that way.

Oh, right!

Before I forget (or, before my pain wakes up), I need to mention this. I do not have a tumour. (At least, not yet, anyways.) So stop talking about it like I do! I swear, if I get another "Is it true that you have a brain tumour?" like question, I'm going to snap! Anyways, I'm going to have to go for another checkup on Monday (it actually was supposed to be Saturday, but my parents just had to go and leave me and the rest of us here and go off to Jakarta), since there's still pain.

Oh, yes, you read right. My parents aren't home for the weekend. Now, I'm not a party teen, so I'm not whooping with joy. But I'm not down in the dumps, either. At least now I won't have any problems with people coming over. For studying, of course. For once, please try to stop thinking illegal and slash or dirty thoughts.

And now I'm home alone. What about my siblings, you ask? My twin sisters have gone somewhere (they were gone when I woke up, I swear!) and my brother is sleeping over at a cousin's house. My other sister isn't really much company, so yeah, technically, I'm home alone.

It's going to be a looooooooong week. There's nothing to look forward to, to be honest. I only have studying, TV, the computer, and more studying. Not to mention the pain. Never forget the pain.

Ooh, ooh, guess what? I have a long-lost twin that I never knew of! Ha ha, I wish. Actually, I just have this new pen pal (or is it "chat chum"?), and we have so much things in common it's freaky. Her blog's link is there is on my blog, although it's private - sorry, readers, you won't get to read her awesome blog. Your loss.

Man I'm getting bored now. Blogging just isn't what it used to be *Sigh* Although it's cool that random people are reading my blog. How they got this link, I shall never know. After all, it's really complicated to accidentally type the URL. Look at all the dashes in it! Heck, one of my friends typed it wrong, even when I gave him the link. See how complicated it is?

Anyways, I'm going to go now. If I get any inspiration to type more (or, if I just suddenly get an idea for a random blog title) I'll update. Later!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~