A Guy's Point Of View

"Everything has two sides to a story. Good and evil; Sweet and bitter; Love and hate; Innocent and guilty; Boys and girls."

(NOTE: This has been edited, and is not mine in the first place. In fact, after this bracket, it's all part of an edit until the end)

Girls, you may agree to this, but when it actually happens, 96% of girls don't realize it until it's too late and the guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice and appreciate him.

From a guy's point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 AM in the morning, we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 AM that it can't wait till the next morning.

When we tell you that you're pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, cute, stunning or anything similar to that, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong, because we'll just stop trying to convince you.

One of the sexiest thing about a girl is her self confidence. (Yeah, you can quote me on that) Don't be mad when we hold the door for you. We're not being chauvinists that think you're too weak to open the door. We're trying to be a gentleman. Take advantage of the mood that we're in.

If we give you an expensive gift, don't feel guilty about it. We saved and/or worked hard to get it, and to us, you deserve it. If we got you a present that you don't like, tell us, but don't tell us in such a harsh way. There is a thing called "tact", you know. Whenever we give you gifts for no apparent reason, don't think that we're only giving it to you because we're in trouble. We do it because we love you.

Let us pay for you! Don't "feel bad" about it. We not only enjoy doing it, but it's what we expect to do. Just smile and say, "thank you."

Kiss us when no one is watching. But if you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be even more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us! If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't need to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every makeup that you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her PJ's, or when she's wearing one of my T-shirts and boxers, compared to when she's all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. Try to see the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily. We never mean to hurt you. Don't be so quick to get jealous, either. Let us talk and be friends with other girls. You don't have anything to worry about. After all, we chose you.

Stop using magazines and the media as your bible. Please don't talk about "how hot Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise or Jesse McCartney is" in front of us. Frankly, we don't care. You have girlfriends for that kind of stuff.

Whatever happened to the word "handsome"?

And girls, we can not stress this enough: If you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. Ditch him, because he probably won't. Sorry, but guys like that are a disgrace to the male population. He's an a*s and you should find someone who will treat you with utter respect.

Someone who will honour your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you no matter how bad you make them feel, or what you do to them. Someone who will stop whatever they're doing just to look you in the eyes and say...

"I love you."

And actually mean it.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. To those that know the original, they'll know what I've added, erased, modified and fixed. Whether I've made it better or worse is debatable. I'm pretty sure that most - if not all - guys (those that aren't jerks, anyway) will agree with this. So girls, please, look at our point of view.

Back home

"There's something wrong with the saying Home Sweet Home. There's nothing sweet about it. But... I'd rather be home than anywhere else."

I'm back home. I'd have posted sooner, but I wasn't allowed online. But when I sneaked on, BlogSpot wouldn't let me post anything for some reason. Finally, since I'm finally doing touch-ups on my History folio, I took this opportunity to blog. I'm going to talk about what happened the last few days. Be warned. This post will be very long. Even for my normal standard.

On Saturday morning, my sister and I had to get up early to go to the Islamic camp. It's by YMP. That's Young Muslims Project, by the way. They have a FaceBook group, so check it out when you get the chance to. Or if you're interested. Whichever one comes first.

Obviously, we got there late. My Dad was sending, what do you expect? Although, to his merit, this time we only got lost, instead of Dad's usual lateness. It's kinda an inside joke now, about my Dad's "punctuality". (Whenever he fetches me from school, there's a 99% chance I'll get home late).

We first introduced each other. Except, though, there was this nice little twist. We had to introduce someone else. The person beside us, to be frank. We had to introduce his/her name, two things (s)he likes and two thing (s)he dislikes as well as their favourite animal. Me and the two people that introduced each other (yeah, we were weird in that while most of the people were in pairs, we were in threes). The guy on my right was Daniel; he was introduced by the guy on his right (Hadi). I introduced Hadi, and Daniel introduced me. It's kinda confusing to tell you without showing any pictures, so I hope you understand.

After the half hour break, we had a workshop on empathy. We were basically learning how to see from the other person's point of view. In essence, what we were doing was learning how to solve conflicts better. We did some role play, and I was in the second set. (I'm proud to admit that I volunteered without hesitation - in front of around 60 people) Our "argument" was this: I was the captain of a football team, and I just took out our strikers. Because of that, we lost. The vice-captain (the guy I'm "arguing" with) was angry at me. Apparently, our argument was so convincing that the speaker (Kuranda Seyit) decided to intervene. He said that it seemed like I was about to beat Marwan (the vice-captain) up. I need to note here that he's taller and older than me. Which kinda made that statement funny. Of course, ever since that role play session, everyone knew me as "captain". Especially during the "Free and Easy" session.

After we had our lunch and our Zuhur prayers, we had another talk. This time, it was about boy-girl relationships. Boy, was that talk interesting. Now, I'm not gonna go into any details, but basically we were talking about how to have a halal relationship. Like, getting our parent's blessings, and etc. Well, as you can expect, we were so interested in the talk that we ended up skipping our tea break. Which then, of course, ended up with us not being able to complete another session called "The Great Debate". Don't ask me what it's about, 'cause I have no idea. But I think it involves a debate, though.

Then, probably because we messed up the schedule, we had a really fun game called "When the big wind blows". Someone has to stand up, and say, "The big wind blows for [insert something like, "everyone wearing black"]", and those that have it [in this case, are wearing black] have to get up and sit at another chair. Yeah, that was really fun.

Since our plans were messed up, we went straight to "Free and Easy" (remember that I mentioned it earlier?). Here, we had 2 whole hours to do whatever we liked. We first played some soccer, and I remember painfully when someone - I think it was Mamoug - kicked the ball very very hard and it hit me in my most sensitive area.

Yes, yes, I know it's funny, but c'mon, don't laugh that much!

Before that, though, everyone on my team were calling "captain" (because of the role playing thing), even though I clearly wasn't. It's kinda our inside joke, if we ever meet again. Heh. After the girls complained that they weren't having any fun, we decided to play kickball. Which was really interesting, since none of us had ever played it before. Heck, none of us even played baseball before. (Kickball is kinda like that... Hard to explain. Meh) It was boys against girls. The first round, us guys were losing 7-6. Then, the game ended with 8-8. Yeah, it was a draw. But if the guy (dang it, I can't remember his name!) had caught the ball, we'd have won 8-7! Well, what can you do?

After we had dinner and did our Maghrib prayers, we watched a documentary by Kuranda Seyit - one of the speakers. It was about his life in Australia, being a Muslim immigrant from Turkey. It was beautifully made, and I think only a beast from the dark (i.e. something not human) wouldn't have felt touched by it. It was really amazing. I might be able to get the CD one day (most of us wanted it), and if I do, I'll be sure to lend it to you. (Note: only applicable to people that I know personally) Before we left, we had a cool game where the person says a scene [say, a battlefield] and everyone has to do something that will complete the scene yet harmonize the situation.

Example, the scene is "a war zone". People ended up walking to the "stage" doing war poses. Some people were medics. I myself was an infantry unit that was killed by behind. Remember, we weren't supposed to do something that stood out. We're supposed to do something that'll harmonize the place. As an example, our first scene was "pasar malam" (night market, Malaysian style), and it was a catastrophe. The stalls were a mess. The road was missing (because everyone was so jumbled up), and there was a motorcyclist in the middle of the stalls.

But the last one, "Hari Raya celebrations" (Eid celebrations), was perfect. There were some people playing with those cannon fireworks ourside; I was messing my friend's hairstyle, and he was pouring a drink for a girl; the said girl was giving her friend some food as well as having her cup poured with water; some people were playing PS2 in the living room; others were seeking forgiveness from parents; there were some that were checking to see if the money they got were real... It made everything perfect, since it all fit in. Man, that was the best game, ever. We were sad when we had to go to sleep. (One rule for the game: No talking allowed)

Then, we ate supper (I'm still unsure what's the difference between supper and dinner) and went to sleep. Before I forget, remind me to shoot Faheem countless times with a BB gun. He kept shooting everyone that passed his bunk with an electronic BB machine gun. Man, that hurt...

We were supposed to sleep at 11.30, but because we talked so much, we ended up sleeping at around... Oh, I dunno, sometime around 2? Yeah, around there.

The next day, we woke up at 5.30, for Fajr prayers. Five freaking thirty! That's only, what? 3 hours of sleep! Thankfully, I managed to get up. I'm gonna thank Aiman here, for waking me up by hitting my butt with a towel (or pillow - I can't really remember). Good times, gooood times...

At 6.30, there was aerobics. The majority of us, though, went to sleep instead of exercising. The next workshop would be at 9, so we wanted to get as much sleep as possible. Yeah, yeah, we should have slept earlier. Sue us for wanting to socialize more before going to bed. Heh.

After we all woke up and refreshed ourselves, we had a workshop on how to make a mark as a Muslim. How to leave an impression on the world as a Muslim, and in a good way, not like those stupid suicide bombers. A note here: Islam bans Muslims to react with violence, unless to defend yourself. It's filled with religious stuff, so I'm going to have to stop talking about this one, since I'm pretty sure not everyone that reads this is a Muslim.

The next workshop was really interesting. It was generally about "How to be a teenage Muslim and still be cool". They kinda just taught us that we weren't really restricted because we didn't want to, say, smoke, or drink beer, or do drugs. But they were restricted, because that's all they can think about to have fun. After all, as a Muslim, who says we can't bike ride? We can't rock climb, parachute, scuba diving, swim and all those other fun things?

There was more, but this blog is getting a wee bit too long, so I don't want to bore you with more meaningless details. A little too late, but meh.

After the Zuhur prayers and lunch, (I was "volunteered" to be the Imam; Oh, and I forgot to mention. On Saturday, for a reason I can't remember, Kuranda said that I was probably going to be the next Prime Minister! Ha ha, is that funny or what? ... Come on, laugh!) we had a really nice talk by a professor. I'm not gonna say her name, (partly because I don't want to, and partyly because I... Forgot) but she was a really good speaker. This talk was about sex before marriage.

Yes, you read right. Sex. Of course, it wasn't about sex in detail. It was about how we reach sexual maturity after puberty (10 years old nowadays) and by the time we get married (30, on average). That's 20 years! 20 years! Well, because of that, we obviously became "creative", so to speak. You can see it in loads of teens. In fact, this is the reason why teenagers end up having sex before marriage. Now I'm gonna share some cool facts and statistics that I learned or were told in the camp. Prepare to be amazed.

For every baby born, there is at least two abortions.

Out of 887 teenage girls, aged 13 - 16, from around 40 different schools, only one was a virgin.

A survey was done to 18 year olds. 40% admitted that they started dating when they were 13 (I'm part of the 60%! Woo! Ha ha). By the age of 18,

84% admitted to having held hands.
85% admitted to kissing and/or necking.
83% admitted to petting.

~> 9% have had pre-marital sex. Most of them were boys.

All I can say to those are... Wow. People are... Wow. Yeah, I can't really say much, can I? I'm almost speechless. Now, to those think that they're ready to have sex, read this. Please.

You're Not Ready To Have Sex If...

~You think sex = love.
~You're afraid to say no.
~You think everyone else is doing it.
~You don't know the facts about pregnancy.
~You don't think a woman can get pregnant the first time.
~It goes against your religious and moral beliefs.
~You're doing it to prove something. (*Cough loser cough*)
~You think it will make your partner love you.
~You think it will make you love your partner.

To every teenager out there... It's okay to wait! Save sex for marriage! (Yes, it's "save", not "safe")

We had a final game, which was called "Zip Zap Boing". I'm not going into details here, because I'm too lazy to. If you wanna know how it's played, lemme know, and then I'll let you know. Oh, and I forgot to mention, we had two other activities. Both included non verbal communication, and writing was not allowed. For one, we had to construct a "sacred space" (a place you go to feel calm, relaxed, at ease, etc.; My groups' "sacred space" was the stars: You just have to look up, and it's always there.).

In the other activity, we were grouped up in pairs, and one person had to give instructions on how to draw, and the other person wasn't allowed to speak. The person with the picture had to say stuff like, "Okay, draw a triangle. Now another triangle below it. Next, under the second triangle, draw a horizontal rectangle." for, say, a tree. I apparently didn't get the memo, cause I was saying stuff like, "Alright, draw a horizontal line. Then, draw two vertical lines going downwards on both sides. Then connect the two vertical lines together with a horizontal line." for a square. Amazingly, it turned out really good.

We had to go home not long after. My sisters brought Aboo, and everyone was fawning over him. He ended up showing off, by climbing on my head and looking at everyone. Ha ha, he was so cute. We took a group picture, and went home. The people I met there... Marwan, Amar, Syafiq, Faheem, Shakeen... It's gonna be hard to forget about them. I just hope that I manage to keep in touch.

Well, Monday ended up being a really uninteresting day compared to the weekend. In fact, I skipped school. Official reason? I had a headache. (It wasn't that bad, though. It was just a reason). Unofficial reason? I skipped it. Yeah, it's a good thing that we're no longer learning anything, and it's all just pop quizzes and work sheets. I was so not in the mood of any of that.

I came to school on the other days. Well, I'm gonna end this long post now.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

Edit: I forgot to mention, the reason I didn't say we prayed Asar or Isyak is because we combined them. We can do that, if we're out of our hometown. Oh, and to those interested, Anwar Ibrahim's daughter, Hanna, was there. Just wanted to let you know.

Something unbreakable was almost broken

"Don't listen to what other people say. Sing your own song, dance to your own beat, say your own lines and laugh at your own jokes. Live life your way, so don't take this advice just because I told you to."

Not asking her out is turns out to actually be a really good idea. Oh, right, you don't know about it.

Well, when I was in Standard 3 (or 4, the details are sketchy), I made a vow to myself to not date anyone unless I found the one. The reason? I want her to be my real and true soulmate. Not just some girl that I'd probably breakup with after a few months, weeks, days, dates and etc. Until now, I don't think I've really found her yet, so if I asked her, my vow would be broken.

Which is why it's a good thing I changed my mind. Now you're probably wondering how I'd know who the one is? Well, that's easy. She'd make me feel different than if I was with anyone else. I'd do things that are degrading and humiliating (because if she really IS the one, she wouldn't make me do anything like that), and I wouldn't even have to know her to feel that "chemistry" that you only get with really close friends.

Though, my cousins and parents are skeptical about this. They have this really weird idea that I can only find the one after dating a lot of girls. That way I could quote my Mum, "know what I like and what I don't like", unquote. Yes, that's why she wanted to set me up on a blind date.

Seriously, though, I'm interested to know how the one will look like. Another sure sign is that my family and friends will love her. Also, we'd be total opposites yet have everything in common. Aaah, it's hard to explain that one, really actually. Plus, I'll just know.

Alright, enough about that. I have to mention that I won't be posting this weekend (which is why I'm posting today. I'm supposed to be redoing my stupid History Folio (for some reason, I got it back twice while everyone in my class only got it back once - how is that fair?!).

I'll be at a camp this weekend, and I'm really reluctant to go. It's not because it's an Islamic camp - that's the aspect that I'm interested in - no, it's just that I don't like camps. Don't ask why, I just don't. It's not because I had a bad camping experience when I was younger (I didn't) or because I don't know how to camp (look, I may be a city boy, but I act like a village kid; I just prefer technology. Ha ha). It's just that... Actually, I don't have any actual reason why. At least my consolation is that I won't have to go to school this Saturday. We're having extra classes. I don't have anything against learning, but school doesn't let me go to my full potential. Besides, when are we ever going to need to know certain things such as how to find the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle?!

Wow, what started as a "It's a good reason I'm not going to date" post is quickly becoming my regular ramblings. Meh, must be my natural instinct to write. Ha ha! Nah, I was just joking about that. Unlike what people think, I don't brag (except to brag about me not bragging. But that's a different whole 'nother story)

To everyone reading, I need to ask. In this aspect, am I normal? No, not the "bragging" thing. It's just that, when it comes to music, I prefer songs from the old days. Songs by ABBA, Air Supply, Westlife, Dawn, to name a few. Songs such as "Super Trouper", "Every Woman In The World To Me", "Fool Again", "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree" and etc. At 15 years of age. As a teenager, is that normal? Because except for certain songs and bands, the ones with great lyrics or exceptional music respectively, I'd rather listen to these "Oldies", as my generation puts it.

To be frank, music nowadays are going downhill. There's more style than substance. Except for those especially nice ones, the ones with deep meanings like OneRepublic's "Apologize" (to those of you that don't know, it's by OneRepublic, not Timbaland. Timbaland ruined it when he remixed it), about a guy that no longer will accept his girlfriend's apologies anymore. Or emotionally meaningful ones like Sum 41's "Address This Letter (Dear Father)", which is about a guy whose Dad left him when he was a kid, and he wants to tell his Dad that he (the guy) wishes he (the Dad) never left, but he's being just fine without his Dad.

Yes, my generation has lost the true meaning of quality music. How can people listen to eardrum damaging songs that not only not make sense, but if they do make sense, it's about something totally irrelevant to life.

Wanna know what I hate about my "peers"? They think that music by groups and/or bands like the ones stated above are "mushy love songs". Yes, they're love songs. Yes, sometimes they're mushy. But have you actually took the time to actually listen to them? Try listening to Dawn featuring Tony Orlando's "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree". It's about a guy, who, after three years of being in prison, sends a letter to his lover that if she still loves him, she must tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree. If she doesn't, he'll take the hint and leave, as well as take the blame. When he sees the tree, however, he sees one thousand yellow ribbons! The song is about true love. If you don't like that concept, then you're nothing but a cynical being. Not worth being called a human.

Or how about Air Supply's "Every Woman In The World"? I want you guys and girls to actually listen to that song. And actually listen to the lyrics. If you can honestly say that it was the worst piece of merde that you've ever heard (mind my French), then, well, you honestly don't deserve my attention nor respect. I'm not saying I'm better than you, but I am saying that I don't want to waste time on people like this.

Oh my God, French is so freaking hard to learn! But man, once you know how to say certain things, it feels really good. So now I'm going to change my endings. I won't be using "Till next time" anymore. I'm just letting you know. Alright, I've gotta go now. Homework and all.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Aboo, my pet monkey, got interviewed by the school newspeople. More on that next time.

Hot off the newspaper!

"News is only news if people care. Since all people care about is destruction, mayhem and death, what does that make us? Barbarians?"

I bet you didn't hear about this. I'm pretty sure that you didn't. How do I figure that? Well, it's about my friend's personal life, and he didn't seem to mind about me putting it in here (meaning, he didn't object), so here it will be put. For all time.

Or, until I decide to get rid of it. Which would be never.

Anyways, on to the story. My classmate, Aizat, and another classmate, Jennifer (not her real name), are apparently dating! Now, not only was that really shocking (Aizat is kinda... Well, the type of guy girls aren't into. Unless girls are into dark, gothic, depressed, dark-minded, dirty-minded and disfunctional weaklings. Which means I'll have to change my entire image. Dang.) but they actually call each other "husband and wife" online!

Well, now I finally have some ammunition against him. Wait until everybody in class reads about this... Which is why I'm depending on you, readers, to popularize my blog. Tell everyone! The world deserves to know! Ha ha, I'm like some sort of tabloid manager newspaper editor. Wait, not newspaper editor. It's closer to "Newspaper boy". You know, the one that's telling everyone what the news is.

I'm kinda worried about the two of them, though. Since they're already "husband and wife", (so to speak) they might decide to do third base. If you know what I mean. To be frank, that's kinda disgusting, doing it at 15 and all. Do people actually do third base at 15? Don't they have some sense of control?

Right, that's enough about the two lovebirds. I'll update as the news comes.

My friend Ming Yi is in a dilema. She's in love with this guy that's trying to choose between her and another girl. But, honestly, I don't see how hard it is to choose. He's in love (at least like, anyway) with Ming Yi, and it's only infatuation with this other girl that doesn't even know him. It's not that hard to choose, mate. Just go with the one you love, not the one you infatuate. Wow, that sounds weird, no?

We're receiving an update about the husband and wife thing!

Apparently, Aizat has more than one wife! Before I lecture him, I have to ask. How the heck is he the type of guy that attracts girls!? Now for the lecture. Aizat! How could you cheat on your wife?! That's despicable! It's low! It's crude! And it's amazing. (Hah, you weren't expecting that, were you?)

But seriously, though, Aizat, stick to one girl. If you're reading this, I'm telling it to you as a friend. If you have more than one wife, you'll just end up hurting all of them, and you'll probably be slapped a few times. Oh, and don't give me any nonsense about how "Life is too short for just one girl". If you're going to tell me that, you should never have gotten married in the first place!

That's all for now.

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

Why why WHY!?

"Change is what makes the world unique. Whoever does something over and over again and enjoys it, then he is less than pathetic."

Adrian Monk once said something along the lines of, "Change is good, as long as I'm not there when it happens." I couldn't agree more.

The teacher is going to be changing our class seating arrangements, because a few people went and failed. Gah, these people are giving a bad name for all guys everywhere. Then again, guys everywhere are doing that too... Meh.

Open Day was today, and it was interesting. Reason is simple. Once again, my class teacher gave my Mum the same script. The old, "Your son has a lot of potential. He would do so much better if he tried more and put more work into it." Yadda yadda yadda.

It's not that I have anything against her personally, but it's just that every teacher that's been with me say the same thing to my parents, regardless of how I act slash behave. It's like they have a script made just for me, which they pass around for the reason to tell my parents. Paranoid, much? Haha, that sounded so girly, don't you agree? Don't worry, I'm not a faggot slash homosexual person.

Speaking of this subject, just wanted to let you all that are interested know that the girl I had a rebound for is no longer a rebound. No, this doesn't mean that I like her more. It simply means that I'm (once again) a free agent. A person who has no ties to anyone emotionally at all. Just like so many of you.

That wasn't an insult, could you please drop the gun!? Thank you.

To those of you interested, I'm single and totally available now. From reading my blog, you should know how my mind works. *Wink wink* Haha, okay, I think that's enough for now.

I'm feeling sleepy. Night~!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Whether I was joking or not on that offer, well, that's entirely up for you to decide. Haha!

Testing.

No more imitation - At least, not from you.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but not so when the imitation is an insult."

Aaaah! Dang it! I am so seriously angry right now. Funny how the only two emotions I truly feel are happiness and anger. Especially anger. Which I'm feeling right now. Can you please remind me to control my urges, at least for now?

I'm totally losing it.

The urge is taking over me bit by bit. Man, I really gotta learn how Dexter can plan every detail properly and precisely. Maybe then I can actually live with this... This thing inside of me.

Anyways, let's get back to topic. A few girls in my class had this English presentation, and what was it they did? They did a role play that included them playing as four guys, and - guess what? - they totally degraded, humiliated and insulted us. They didn't even ask us for permission, let alone do it even a bit right.

Razin is a good artist, and wanna what they made "him" do? They made him show off his art. He never shows off his art, ever. Heck, most of the time we have to make him show us his latest drawing. Unless we asked him to draw something for us. That's a whole different story. I'm going to be honest here. When it comes to his drawings, Razin is a wee bit too humble than he should be. That's a good thing, I guess.

Faiz had muscles and works out. He doesn't need to show off, although he does show off at times, but usually when it's one of those "macho" acts. You know how it is, right, guys? Most of you guys think it's macho sometimes to show off your biceps (I don't understand it, though). They ended up making "him" do show off stuff out of the blue. Apparently they think that all boys like showing off whatever asset that they might have (like Razin's drawings and Faiz's... Erm... Brawn?)

Aizat was hit the worst. He is known as a loner to most of the classmates and he's usually seen with his eyes like slits. Like, Brock, from Pokemon, if you've ever watched it. But he never says the word stupid, he only has his eyes like that when he's bored or being teased, and he only disses the teacher if he was unfairly scolded. Like, when he finishes his work, did it the best he could, and then the teacher scold him for not doing it nicely. Stuff like that. Well, let's just say, they went and made "him" do everything opposite of that. "He" was having his eyes in every scenario, "he" was dissing the teacher when "he" was scolded correctly (this meaning that he really didn't do something, and was thus scolded) and "he" was using the words "stupid" a lot. So out of character.

I don't think mine was so bad, but I was insulted on personal things. Like, I use "Joshster" a lot because it's a connection of "Josh Carter", and "Joshster" sounded nicer than "Joshter". (Oh, I forgot to mention; they were putting these names around their necks, like a necklace. It was "us" with minor changes: Razin became Razif. Bros became Berush (that's Faiz's nickname - don't ask). Makoto became Sakoto (Aizat's Japanese name) and mine was just Joshster.)

Another one, when I say something, I only repeat it because I don't think people are listening. "I" was repeating it like "I" was some broken parrot that forgot to stop repeating a phrase! Then they did the biggest insult of all my non-mental illness rituals. They made "me" do the "camera motion" with "my" hands! (You know, the one where the right hand is going in a circular motion while the left hand is vertical, like holding a box) I only do that to remember specific memories! Whenever I do that, it's like a video saved into my memories. I never forget them. I just have to recall doing that, and I can remember. So it was the ultimate insult to me.

They didn't apologize to Aizat, their apology to me was totally insincere, but at least Faiz and Razon got good and proper apologies. Lucky guys. I think I'm done ranting, and now I'm going to just ramble on.

School was interesting today, for only one reason. My stomach wouldn't let me forget that I was supposed to be in pain. It got annoying after a while, especially when I lost my ability to stand a couple of times. Not to mention it started hurting while I was sitting down in class. I can't even sneeze, cough or yawn without pain. The coolest part was that no one noticed that I was in pain. Other than Amalina. She even criticized me for coming to school - I'm not really healthy enough to come to school but I insisted to my parents to let me come. Yeah, yeah, for now, I'm a nerd. I'm just going to study, then I'll watch TV, play games and be irresponsible nonstop!

Alright, I guess that's all I want to rant about. One last thing though. To Anis, Zulaikha, Maisarah and Sofea, what you did today was rude, belittling and mean. My nature is naturally forgiving, but I'm not going to be able to trust you girls. Ever.

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

Was AWL. That's Absence With Leave.

"Cancer. That's the only word that can instill fear in the hearts of many."

No, I don't have cancer, though I wish I did. Nothing to do with me being sick of life (as my cousin thought), but that I had already kinda accepted that I might have cancer. It was a huge blow when it was only my appendix. It was giving me some unasked for trouble, the useless bum.

Yes, I was at the hospital. I recently (as in, last Saturday, and now it's Saturday) had a surgery. Oh, nothing major, just my appendix being taken out, as stated above. You know, the appendix is the most useless of all the "organs" (if it could be called an organ) in the human body. It does absolutely nothing, but if it gets swollen from an infection, a sickness, etc., it can kill you. And not quickly, either. It'll slowly and painfully take you out from the inside, like a natural poison, giving you a stabbing pain that just won't stop!

Plus, at the end of the surgery, it hurt like mad! Seriously, I never knew such pain. It hurt when I was still, it hurt while I was moving, it hurt all the freaking time! The painkillers didn't work either. When I asked for more of 'em, the nurse actually said that I was on too much, and that I might overdose. I wasn't sure whether to be scared, freaked out or in shock. So I just gave an incredulous look.

After one week, I can honestly say, it still freaking hurts! The painkillers I'm on barely numb the pain, and I really ought to find painkillers that actually work. The pain makes walking almost unbearable. I kinda have to slouch when I walk, and it hurts my back (I know you how old people feel now, and let me tell you: I totally respect you now!). My sister actually went and called me "Old Man". *Sigh*

It actually hurts while I'm typing this, and I have no idea how much longer I can stay like this before screaming in pain. Oh, my right arm hurts as well, since that was where the needle with the IV drip was put. Yep, it's going to be really interesting in school, trying to write again.

Wanna what makes all of this bearable and cool? My stitches! I got three holes, one on my right side, one on my left side and one directly above my bellybutton. The put a camera through my left side and used the right and middle areas to take the dumb useless thing out.

Another thing that I like about all this is that I actually like pain, believe it or not. I don't know why. So all this "screaming out in pain" stuff is really cool. I like holding pain in, seeing my limits, testing them again and again. Of course, I dramatize things to get what I want in this household. Shhh! Don't tell the family!

It's going to be really boring in school next week (yes, I got a whole week without school. Probably the most boring week of my life, to be honest). I won't be allowed to walk or run, or stand or do anything interesting or cool. I'm only allowed to sit down and stay put in my class seat until school is over. In fact, I'm not even supposed to be walking around the house. Which I'm doing a lot.

Speaking of school, I recently found out that there's this new girl named - you'll never believe it - (Eliza) Sofea. Just perfect, don't you agree? Apparently she even speaks and acts like the first Sofea. Speaking (or typing) of Sofea, I have to mention this. She's most probably a rebound but I'm interested in another girl, a Form 1 (13 year old). Yeah, either she's a rebound, or I actually like her. Probably the former, but hey, stranger things have happened.

I'm not going to go too detailed in here, since I don't know her that well, other than her name Emalai (obviously anagrammed), and that she's a 13 year old. 2 years younger than me. Yea, I can really see that one working out. If this is the real deal, I think I know why. She's the only girl - no, only person - that doesn't get repelled by the real me. That, and that she actually tries to communicate with me, unlike other people.

Oh, remind me to never be charged into the Selangor Medical Centre at Section 20 in Shah Alam ever again. The only shows that I liked while I was there were Nickelodeon and Discovery Channel. I think I have memorized every channel there is on Nickelodeon, especially the hated Yo Gabba Gabba commercial. The advertisements are stuck in my head! Make it stop, make it stop!!!!

Actually, I'm really supposed to be resting. It's 2:16 AM on Saturday, and I'm in front of the computer with the scars that will look like bullet wounds instead of surgical scars. Cool, eh? Well, I gues I really have to go to sleep. Plus, I'm sleepy. Night night~

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I was going to change my ending to, "For now and forever more", but I changed my mind. Night~!

5 useless facts about Sharrif

"Tags are universal now. Either in games, vlogs, videos, items for sale and yes, even blogs."

Wow, after an absence, the only thing I can do is a tag. You must really hate me, right? Especially since my last post was so long. Well, it's not my fault. The stupid teachers in my stupid school do not know the meaning of "rest". They give us loads of homework and expect us to finish it by the deadline stated. Don't they know that we, unlike them, actually have a life?

Right, on to the actual purpose of this post. Thanks to Ryan (Darn you!), I now have to post 5 random and useless facts about me. So, here goes. Note: I'm only going to put facts that practically no one knows.

"What's that you say? You want my first fact?"

Fact number 1 about me is, I really hate it when someone calls me "Sheikh". I don't care that it's easier to say than "Sharrif"! I still hate it a lot! It not only feels formal, but you sound like you're calling my Dad! Please, don't do that. As an added thought, every time someone calls me "Sheikh", I really have this strong urge to beat the person up, be it guy or girl. Since I don't hit girls, I tend to say to myself, "Pretend he's a girl, pretend he's a girl..." until I calm down.

"Don't tell me you wanna know more?!"

The second fact about me is that I keep having this thought of me either faking my death or having some kind of terrible accident happen to me. No, it's not because I have a sick imagination or something like that! It's just, well, I want to know who really cares about me. I want to see how many people visit my "grave", or visit me in the hospital. Heck, I even want to know how many people would attend my funeral. I keep guessing the amount, and it's really low, to be frank.

"Another one? You sure?"

Number 3 in my list of useless facts is that I have imaginary friends. (I can't believe that I actually typed that...) Their names are Tom, Mark and Farah. They each specialize in helping different aspects of my life. Tom helps me in life. Mark with my school life. Farah with my love life. So if you see me talking to myself, I'm not, actually. I'm talking to them. Yes, I know that people with imaginary friends are those that are depressed. I don't think I am, but then, who knows, really? I guess that deep down, I really am depressed. Either that, or my imagination is way too high. I prefer the latter one.

"If you keep this up, it's gonna start costin' ya."

Lucky number 4. Time to talk about something extra personal. I often feel ignored and unloved, either at home or at school. Yeah, sure, you can say that you care for me and whatnot, but I look at actions, not words. Even though actions can lie, at least you're making the effort of trying to make it seem that I'm cared for. Why do I think like this? In a group conversation, I'm usually left out. When I try to enter the discussion, I usually get ignored and just end up listening.

Speaking of listening, I really hate the fact that I'm always listening. I listen to everyone's problems, but none listen to mine. Another thing I hate is that although loads of girls have said that girls will like me because (and they'll give their own reasons), but how come none have even said so? The reason I can make out is that I'm the type of guy that girls only want as a friend, never as a boyfriend. Well, I guess it's the bachelor life for me.

"What is it with you and my life?!"

At last, here we are. The end of the line. I think I'll just say something non-personal and random, to counter the last one.

I like eggs.

Haha, too random, I know. But seriously, though. This next fact is that I love oxymorons. Flawed perfection. Honest lies. Sweet bitterness. Dumb genius. Smart idiot. Organized chaos. Chaotic peace. Rich beggar. Poor millionare.

Those kinda stuff. Why? I don't know why. I just love oxymorons. If it contradicts itself, I'll love it.

Okay, then. I haven't finished my History folio yet (and it's due tomorrow! Oh God!), so

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~