One hectic week... OR Dating blind

"Blind dating isn't only for the blind. After all, love itself is blind."

First of all, let me apologize for not being able to blog. Not only was I very busy, but it has been a really crazy and hectic week for me. Don't forget to add that I can only use the computer in the weekends.

Right. You're probably wondering why it's been so hectic.

Well, let's just put it this way. My Mum suddenly wants me to have a girlfriend, and she's actually forcing me to date. Of course, I refused. What kind of person in their right minds want to have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, if you're a girl) without actually liking the person? I'll only date a girl if I really really like her. You know, there is this girl I'm planning on asking out (yep, a Sharrif first!) but I'm chickening out. I've never done this kinda thing before, you know, so I'm shaking like a rattlesnake's tail.

My plan is to ask her out on Valentine's Day, but I still have no better way to do it other than by saying, "Hey, um... Will you, uh, be my Valentine?" Yeah, reall smooth. Not to mention cliché as well. Meh. What'll happen, will happen, and what won't, won't. We'll just see.

Anyways, back to my actual topic. She said that if I didn't have a girlfriend by next year, I'd be set up on a blind date. Finally, on Friday, I decided to negotiate with my Mum. Finally, she caved. She won't set me up on a blind date until I'm 21 or 25. I can't remember which. Either way, I still have a lot of time to find a girl willing enough to date me. *Clears throat* Any girl interested out there? *Winks "flirtatiously"*

Haha., okay, enough of that. Now I'm pretty sure you're thinking, "How is being forced to go on a date enough to make it a hectic week?". You're not...? Meh, I'm still going to tell you what else happened.

You know how school is boring? Don't be afraid to admit it. You hate school, don't you? Be it the strict dress code, dumb rules or evil sadistic teachers, there's always something to hate about school. Hey, don't get it wrong here. I actually love learning. It's just that I hate waking up to go to school. I'd rather stay at home and learn there, like through unschooling. Or going through homeschooling things like tuition. Which is why I decided to start a student revolution. Taking tips from "School-survival.net", me and my friends are starting a revolution!

We need at least 200 people to join us. So far, we only have about 20. I kinda forgot to recruit more people, ha ha. So if you're interested, give me a call. I'm at 3 Gigih. Ask for Sharrif. Remember, we don't promote violence. Only change. Note: I'm only searching for recruits in my school, which is SMKS 9.

Alright, I'm getting sleepy.

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I got back my RuneScape account! Finally! For those that want to add me, my username is Josh_Carter4.

New and improved

"I've always wondered about the 'new and improved' saying. How can something new be improved, if it's never been made before?"

You'll never guess what I just got. Go on, guess!

Right. You know, that line will never be understood by me. If I'm just told that I'd never be able to guess it, then why the heck would I waste my time trying in the first place? Am I right or am I right?

Anyways, on to my actual reason for posting. I had my hair cut! It was long and now it's... Not long. It's basically the same as my old hairstyle, only shorter. Um... Yeah, I never knew how pathetic I was until I read that a few times, over and over again. Okay, not really pathetic. But still, you've got to be something to have the same old hairstyle even after a haircut!

I just wanted to add, my headache is still going strong. It's as if it [the pain] has it's own personal mission to hurt me. Fortunately, though, he (yes, I'm calling my pain "he") tends to get tired longer and longer now. It used to hurt all the time, but now, it hurts only painfully in the afternoon until night, and random times in the morning. And loud sounds still make him wake up with a vengeance. Other than those times, though, he's peacefully sleeping, and I'd like to keep him that way.

Oh, right!

Before I forget (or, before my pain wakes up), I need to mention this. I do not have a tumour. (At least, not yet, anyways.) So stop talking about it like I do! I swear, if I get another "Is it true that you have a brain tumour?" like question, I'm going to snap! Anyways, I'm going to have to go for another checkup on Monday (it actually was supposed to be Saturday, but my parents just had to go and leave me and the rest of us here and go off to Jakarta), since there's still pain.

Oh, yes, you read right. My parents aren't home for the weekend. Now, I'm not a party teen, so I'm not whooping with joy. But I'm not down in the dumps, either. At least now I won't have any problems with people coming over. For studying, of course. For once, please try to stop thinking illegal and slash or dirty thoughts.

And now I'm home alone. What about my siblings, you ask? My twin sisters have gone somewhere (they were gone when I woke up, I swear!) and my brother is sleeping over at a cousin's house. My other sister isn't really much company, so yeah, technically, I'm home alone.

It's going to be a looooooooong week. There's nothing to look forward to, to be honest. I only have studying, TV, the computer, and more studying. Not to mention the pain. Never forget the pain.

Ooh, ooh, guess what? I have a long-lost twin that I never knew of! Ha ha, I wish. Actually, I just have this new pen pal (or is it "chat chum"?), and we have so much things in common it's freaky. Her blog's link is there is on my blog, although it's private - sorry, readers, you won't get to read her awesome blog. Your loss.

Man I'm getting bored now. Blogging just isn't what it used to be *Sigh* Although it's cool that random people are reading my blog. How they got this link, I shall never know. After all, it's really complicated to accidentally type the URL. Look at all the dashes in it! Heck, one of my friends typed it wrong, even when I gave him the link. See how complicated it is?

Anyways, I'm going to go now. If I get any inspiration to type more (or, if I just suddenly get an idea for a random blog title) I'll update. Later!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

Why why WHY!?

"Change is what makes the world unique. Whoever does something over and over again and enjoys it, then he is less than pathetic."

Adrian Monk once said something along the lines of, "Change is good, as long as I'm not there when it happens." I couldn't agree more.

The teacher is going to be changing our class seating arrangements, because a few people went and failed. Gah, these people are giving a bad name for all guys everywhere. Then again, guys everywhere are doing that too... Meh.

Open Day was today, and it was interesting. Reason is simple. Once again, my class teacher gave my Mum the same script. The old, "Your son has a lot of potential. He would do so much better if he tried more and put more work into it." Yadda yadda yadda.

It's not that I have anything against her personally, but it's just that every teacher that's been with me say the same thing to my parents, regardless of how I act slash behave. It's like they have a script made just for me, which they pass around for the reason to tell my parents. Paranoid, much? Haha, that sounded so girly, don't you agree? Don't worry, I'm not a faggot slash homosexual person.

Speaking of this subject, just wanted to let you all that are interested know that the girl I had a rebound for is no longer a rebound. No, this doesn't mean that I like her more. It simply means that I'm (once again) a free agent. A person who has no ties to anyone emotionally at all. Just like so many of you.

That wasn't an insult, could you please drop the gun!? Thank you.

To those of you interested, I'm single and totally available now. From reading my blog, you should know how my mind works. *Wink wink* Haha, okay, I think that's enough for now.

I'm feeling sleepy. Night~!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Whether I was joking or not on that offer, well, that's entirely up for you to decide. Haha!

Testing.

True Lies

"Offing yourself is relatively easy. It's living with the consequences that's hard."

Hey.

Yeah, I'm still alive. No need to call Suicide Hotline! I'm fine. Really. Yes, I'm serious this time.

I guess I was just going through another rough patch. Depression is hard. How the heck do other depressed people stop from killing themselves?! Wait... I'm one of them. Heh, guess I kinda know the answer, since I'm still alive.

For the love of God, put down that phone! I don't need you to call my parents, okay? You'll just make things worse. It's not as if they actually care about my mental and emotional health. After all, they're the ones that laughed when I wanted to go to a therapist for my 3 lettered word disorder. I wonder how other parents would react? Would they actually bring their child to a therapist, or are they all the same?

Meh, it's not for me to know. I'm just a guy, not someone important.

Anyways, I've often been asked why I have a blog. Why? Because I have a lot to say and no one who listens. I'm not much of a writer. I tried keeping diaries, but they all kept failing. At least this way, I have someone to rant, vent, unleash or even cry to. I've been doing that a lot lately. Cry, I mean. Kinda hard not to, when you feel like no one cares. I'm not being emo. Just stating a fact. Unless you're depressed, you won't understand.

You know, I almost cried at school last week. Sure, go on. Laugh, call me a baby. A wimp. At least I'm man enough to show my emotions, unlike you so called "men". Before you ask, I almost cried because of my disorder. I suddenly had the compulsion to arrange everything properly, which kinda stopped me from having a normal conversation with my friend Razleen. That wasn't what made me almost cry though. No offense, Razleen, but I don't think I'll cry if I don't get to talk to you.

What almost did it was the fact that three of my classmates - people I thought friends - were tormenting me, moving the tables, chairs, bags on the tables and etc. It was making me insane! I wasn't sure whether to cry or to explode. I did a little of both, though not too loudly. I forgive them now, but if they do it again, I don't think I can. Unless you have what I have, you'd never understand. It's like a meat eater talking to a vegetarian about meat. The vegetarian would never understand, because he doesn't eat meat. Meh, something like that, anyways.

You know, I just realized this. If it wasn't for this blog I wouldn't be here. My emotions would be all bottled up, I'd have no one to talk to and *poof*, bye bye Sharrif, the guy that jumped off a building. Yeah, if I was gonna kill myself, I'd do that. Much quicker than cutting. Plus, it's more likely to succeed. Haha, I'm telling you guys how I'd off myself. That is so lame! *Starts giggling a bit*

Yep, this blog is my lifeline. *Pats computer adoringly* I don't know what I'd do without it. I think it's even the reason I'm still alive right now. Mark, Tom and Farah have completely deserted me. I haven't seen them in a bit over a week now, and only now have I realized how much I need them. What's funny is that more people are treating me nicer ever since I wrote that post. Kinda odd, don't cha think? They can't care, because I learned a few life lessons the hard way. These include:

i Nice guys finish last.
ii You can't trust anyone but yourself.
iii People say one thing but mean another.
iv Talk is cheap, but even actions lie.

Of course, there's more, but that's all right for now.

Wanna hear some cool stuff? Yes? No? Either way, since you got this far, you won't mind reading more. I can solve a Rubik's Cube! Woo hoo! Call me a dork, call me a geek, nerd, call me whatever you want, but I don't care! I can solve it and you can't! Haha, it feels so awesome actually being able to do it. Your words won't hurt me, because it's mind over matter. I don't mind 'cause you don't matter.

God! My parents are driving me up the wall! They say that they love me, but all they do is nag! Sure, a little nagging is fine. Annoying, but fine. Nagging a lot about important things is okay as well. But about trivial things? Man, that just makes me angry. They even nag when I did something they told me to. Like, my Mum told me to practice the piano, so I did. After I was done, she scolded me for practicing the piano, because there were guests. What the heck!? She told me to practice then, so I did! Don't get me started on my Dad!

If he calls me, and I answer very politely, "Yes, Dad?", he'll go ballistic and call me rude and impolite! I'd understand if I was doing that, but my sisters saw what happened and they even said to him, "What did he do? He wasn't being rude." Needless to say, they got into trouble as well.

Then, when they don't get their way even when they take away everything (I can really survive without entertainment if I want/have to), they start playing the bribery game. They'll go, "If you be good, you can watch TV again.", or, "If you don't be rude, I'll let you touch the computer."

Of course, I don't participate. Bribery is bad, people! They always give in. I'm too stubborn. Yeah, it's a bad thing, but I copied both my parents in this trait.

But I hate that I'm being like my Dad. From his lateness to his bad temper. Whenever I say something, I end up pausing. The reason is 'cause I realize that I'm sounding more and more like my Dad. It's shocking, but there's nothing I can do about it, is there?

Oops, I'm just asking for trouble now! It's 2:07 AM, and I think I'd better sleep! Night, y'all!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I don't care if my parents read this. At least they'll get an awakening.