God, it's been a while...

"One thing that I don't understand about exams is this: Why is our future, our entire life, determined by a single piece of paper, your memory and how well you were that day?"

To be honest, I had actually planned to post in October, but one thing led to another, and now it's November. Price of procrastination, I guess. I did plan to write the personalities (as how I see it) of each of my classmates, as well as a random amount of friends not from my class. Oh well. Guess that'll have to wait.

Anyways, since I'm typing stuff now, I'm not gonna go into detail about my life at the moment (probably not, though. For all I know, I might get so used to blogging again that I'll start spilling all of my secrets. Again), so I'll just mention a dream that I had recently.

It was a really weird dream, but even though I had it a few nights ago, I can still remember it quite vividly. It started out normal enough.

Wait, scratch that. It was weird from the beginning. I remember it started with me going into a room, which was like a party theme going on (note here: not the teen party where people dance around like uncontrolled monkeys, but the kind of party where adults go to and... Talk. Not much of a party, really) and one of my best friends were there. I saw Danny and his family were there, and we were started catching up, chatting, basically having a great time from just talking. God, I miss him. That dream just made me realize how much.

After the talking, and a few feeble attempts at getting him to sleep over so that we could have more fun together, I decided to walk out of the place. As soon as I left the room, the dream seemed to skip to the future a bit, and it was suddenly 2009, and we were back in school. The way the dream moved on, it was kinda like how the movies do it, skipping loads of time effortlessly. (You know what I'm talking about)

I went into a classroom, and it was March. The classroom was one of my junior's class, and they were all talking together and hanging out in that room. In the dream, it was 3 girl's birthdays on that month, so the juniors were planning something for them. I just happened to be there, so I sat down and paid attention. People seemed to talk more to others, instead of to me. It was as if I wasn't there at all. Whenever I tried talking to some of the other juniors, they just ignored me point blank, without even glancing my way or acknowledging my existence. Even though I now know that it was a dream, it still hurt.

One thing was off about the planning of the party, though, and even though I noticed it in the dream, for some reason I didn't realize anything was amiss. Odd, no? Anyways, the thing that was off was the fact that junior I had my eye on (I'm not going to elaborate more, at least, not yet) had her birthday on in March, but her name wasn't in the list of the three girls that had their birthdays then.

I even remember saying (in the dream) "Hey, why isn't ******'s birthday in this list?" but for some reason, it was shrugged off. Then I all I remember was seeing her (for some reason, really close to my face, until I could see every flaw and perfection) organizing everything. In fact, there were only 5 juniors that I can recall, and 3 of them didn't mean that much to me, which was really quite interesting, in retrospect.

After that, it was suddenly at least one month ahead, and me and a couple of other prefects (again, juniors) were playing a water balloon war. I don't remember what happened during that at all, except that for some reason, no one got wet (other than the palm of our hands from holding the somewhat leaking water balloons)

So, that's it. My dream, finally written - or, typed, at least - into some sort of medium. Interpret it anyway you like. I don't mind. I've got my own interpretations, but the human mind is way too complicated for just one mere person to try to interpret and understand. Feel free to leave any interpretation(s) in the comment box.

Once again, sorry for taking up your time, thank you for reading my blog, and have a nice day.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I guess this makes it official that my blog is no longer in a coma.

Dead, ressurected, dead

"My number one philosophy in life is this: God before parents, parents before family (this means siblings, relatives, kids, spouse, etc.), family before friends, friends before acquaintances, acquaintances before strangers and strangers before myself. I don't care what you think of it, but that's how I live my life."

I don't believe it. I really don't freaking believe it. I got rejected by a girl because I was "too nice". What kind of reason is that?!

All this while, I thought that girls liked guys that were nice. Man, if what I thought was actually the opposite of what's true... Arrh! I haven't been living life properly! Ha ha, I'm just joking about that. I like the way I am, although it is a bit unsettling that girls will reject me for "being me", so to speak.

Thankfully though, the girl that rejected me wasn't the one, not by a long shot. There's loads of other girls, and like my friend says, "One girl down another 7 billion to go!". Ha ha, yeah, I thought there were more girls too. Ha ha!

Speaking of "the one"... I think I've found her. She really fits and everything. I'm skeptical though, judging by my current failures with the female species. That, and because I'm only 15. I'm not supposed to find "the one" yet. So, yeah. I'm gonna keep an eye out on here, and if I still think that she's "the one" after a period of time (I'm not gonna say when or who, in case I jinx it), I'm gonna go and ask her out.

Yes, me, ask her out. You can stop laughing now.

God, I'm addicted to this song, especially since it fits my love life exactly. Of course, I'm not going to put in the song's title or singer in here, since I know my cousins read this. Ha ha, you gotta blame them, not me.

Is it "wedding season" right now? There's suddenly so many weddings. My neighbours had weddings yesterday, and it was creepy to see a lot of people getting married at around the same time. Not only that, but my cousin, (a serial dater, by the way) got married last week. My cousin Luqman and I had to be the "security guards" for the wedding (No, really. We had to hold these spears and stand next to the bride and groom and be their guards) and it was fun. The adults couldn't make up their minds though, on what our facial expression should be. When we smiled, they scolded us. When we looked serious, they made fun of us. Nice, real nice.

The wedding was held on the Saturday after my PMR trials, (to those that don't know, PMR is Malaysia's equivalent to Britain's O levels. Or something like that) which was really convenient for me. Don't get me started on the trials. It was freaking hard! Okay, so maybe I'm over exaggerating the exams a bit, but I'm not kidding for the Geography and Life Studies papers. I got a "C" for Geography (honestly, I'm quite glad that I passed. Yes, it was that difficult) and the highest mark was 82%. Fortunately it was a guy. Go men! Ha ha, sorry, bias moment. Heh.

I'm not sure about the other papers, but I'm kinda confident that I'll be able to ace Math. Ha ha, I always ace Math, so that kinda goes without saying. (I'm not bragging, merely being honest. I'm kinda gifted at Math for some reason, so I ace it every time) I'm not too worried about my Islamic Studies, but I'm a nervous wreck for Life Studies and History. I don't know why, but I just feel un-confident about it. Yes, I know "un-confident" isn't a word. Yet. I just made it up. Sue me.

Arrrrh!!!! I don't know why my parents suddenly want to go on outings with all of us these past two days. Sure, I like hanging out with my parents and all (no sarcasm here; I really mean it), but I wanted to go to Random Alphabets' RWP (Read while Waiting Project), where everyone that joins (most of them Random Agents - I'm one of them, for your information) is trying to promote reading. It's a good cause, and I love doing anything that RA's leader Zain H.D. can think of. His plans are always fun, and they always have a good message of some kind.

Unfortunately, I couldn't go. It was being held simultaneously with other cities like Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, Singapore to name a few. To those that went, tell me what happened! Was it successful? Has reading been promoted at all? I need to know!!!

Anyways, I went and watched a few movies with my family, and the movie we first wanted to watch was "Don't Mess With The Zohan". That was one of our biggest mistakes ever. There was so many perverted and dirty scenes in it that I'm shocked that it's rated "U"! We blamed Dad for the choice, because he chose that movie. Ha ha, yeah. The next day, (which was yesterday) we watched "Wall-E". To those that haven't watched it yet, I highly recommend it! Wait, lemme just emphasize it a bit more. I highly recommend watching it!

I watched it twice and I loved it both times. Once was with my cousin, which was earlier in the week and the other time was with my family yesterday. Both times, I laughed and cried (yes, I cried. Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean that I'm devoid of any feelings. And just 'cause I cried doesn't mean that I'm a wuss, a sensitive romantic or a homosexual!) at all the same times. 8.5 over 10 (it's not 9.5 because the opening was kinda... Slow, to be honest). Zohan gets 5, but only because I'm in a good mood right now.

School's gonna start tomorrow. I'm not sure whether to be anxious, worried or relieved. So I'm gonna be all three. On the one hand, I'll finally be able to meet my friends again, I'm gonna get my exam papers and see how badly (or, if a miracle happens, good) I did, and I'll be able to see the girl I think is "the one" plus I get to finally do something, instead of stay at home doing nothing but watch TV and... *Shudder* Study. On the other hand... It's school. You can see my obvious dilemma on what emotion to be feeling, don't you?

Right, then. This will probably be my last blog post until about 18th of October. The reason being my PMR is coming soon, and I have to study an extra extra amount. Yes, the extra was doubled on purpose for emphasis. *Sigh* I'm gonna miss blogging. And reading people's blog. And annoying people in cyberspace until they log out. Good times, good times... Ha ha, I guess I'm going to end this post now. It's getting a wee bit too long.

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Here's a post for people who want to understand Islam accurately:

Ten Things People Should Know About Islam

P.P.S. Luqman, I want my pencil case back!

New and improved

"I've always wondered about the 'new and improved' saying. How can something new be improved, if it's never been made before?"

You'll never guess what I just got. Go on, guess!

Right. You know, that line will never be understood by me. If I'm just told that I'd never be able to guess it, then why the heck would I waste my time trying in the first place? Am I right or am I right?

Anyways, on to my actual reason for posting. I had my hair cut! It was long and now it's... Not long. It's basically the same as my old hairstyle, only shorter. Um... Yeah, I never knew how pathetic I was until I read that a few times, over and over again. Okay, not really pathetic. But still, you've got to be something to have the same old hairstyle even after a haircut!

I just wanted to add, my headache is still going strong. It's as if it [the pain] has it's own personal mission to hurt me. Fortunately, though, he (yes, I'm calling my pain "he") tends to get tired longer and longer now. It used to hurt all the time, but now, it hurts only painfully in the afternoon until night, and random times in the morning. And loud sounds still make him wake up with a vengeance. Other than those times, though, he's peacefully sleeping, and I'd like to keep him that way.

Oh, right!

Before I forget (or, before my pain wakes up), I need to mention this. I do not have a tumour. (At least, not yet, anyways.) So stop talking about it like I do! I swear, if I get another "Is it true that you have a brain tumour?" like question, I'm going to snap! Anyways, I'm going to have to go for another checkup on Monday (it actually was supposed to be Saturday, but my parents just had to go and leave me and the rest of us here and go off to Jakarta), since there's still pain.

Oh, yes, you read right. My parents aren't home for the weekend. Now, I'm not a party teen, so I'm not whooping with joy. But I'm not down in the dumps, either. At least now I won't have any problems with people coming over. For studying, of course. For once, please try to stop thinking illegal and slash or dirty thoughts.

And now I'm home alone. What about my siblings, you ask? My twin sisters have gone somewhere (they were gone when I woke up, I swear!) and my brother is sleeping over at a cousin's house. My other sister isn't really much company, so yeah, technically, I'm home alone.

It's going to be a looooooooong week. There's nothing to look forward to, to be honest. I only have studying, TV, the computer, and more studying. Not to mention the pain. Never forget the pain.

Ooh, ooh, guess what? I have a long-lost twin that I never knew of! Ha ha, I wish. Actually, I just have this new pen pal (or is it "chat chum"?), and we have so much things in common it's freaky. Her blog's link is there is on my blog, although it's private - sorry, readers, you won't get to read her awesome blog. Your loss.

Man I'm getting bored now. Blogging just isn't what it used to be *Sigh* Although it's cool that random people are reading my blog. How they got this link, I shall never know. After all, it's really complicated to accidentally type the URL. Look at all the dashes in it! Heck, one of my friends typed it wrong, even when I gave him the link. See how complicated it is?

Anyways, I'm going to go now. If I get any inspiration to type more (or, if I just suddenly get an idea for a random blog title) I'll update. Later!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

Why why WHY!?

"Change is what makes the world unique. Whoever does something over and over again and enjoys it, then he is less than pathetic."

Adrian Monk once said something along the lines of, "Change is good, as long as I'm not there when it happens." I couldn't agree more.

The teacher is going to be changing our class seating arrangements, because a few people went and failed. Gah, these people are giving a bad name for all guys everywhere. Then again, guys everywhere are doing that too... Meh.

Open Day was today, and it was interesting. Reason is simple. Once again, my class teacher gave my Mum the same script. The old, "Your son has a lot of potential. He would do so much better if he tried more and put more work into it." Yadda yadda yadda.

It's not that I have anything against her personally, but it's just that every teacher that's been with me say the same thing to my parents, regardless of how I act slash behave. It's like they have a script made just for me, which they pass around for the reason to tell my parents. Paranoid, much? Haha, that sounded so girly, don't you agree? Don't worry, I'm not a faggot slash homosexual person.

Speaking of this subject, just wanted to let you all that are interested know that the girl I had a rebound for is no longer a rebound. No, this doesn't mean that I like her more. It simply means that I'm (once again) a free agent. A person who has no ties to anyone emotionally at all. Just like so many of you.

That wasn't an insult, could you please drop the gun!? Thank you.

To those of you interested, I'm single and totally available now. From reading my blog, you should know how my mind works. *Wink wink* Haha, okay, I think that's enough for now.

I'm feeling sleepy. Night~!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. Whether I was joking or not on that offer, well, that's entirely up for you to decide. Haha!

Testing.

Was AWL. That's Absence With Leave.

"Cancer. That's the only word that can instill fear in the hearts of many."

No, I don't have cancer, though I wish I did. Nothing to do with me being sick of life (as my cousin thought), but that I had already kinda accepted that I might have cancer. It was a huge blow when it was only my appendix. It was giving me some unasked for trouble, the useless bum.

Yes, I was at the hospital. I recently (as in, last Saturday, and now it's Saturday) had a surgery. Oh, nothing major, just my appendix being taken out, as stated above. You know, the appendix is the most useless of all the "organs" (if it could be called an organ) in the human body. It does absolutely nothing, but if it gets swollen from an infection, a sickness, etc., it can kill you. And not quickly, either. It'll slowly and painfully take you out from the inside, like a natural poison, giving you a stabbing pain that just won't stop!

Plus, at the end of the surgery, it hurt like mad! Seriously, I never knew such pain. It hurt when I was still, it hurt while I was moving, it hurt all the freaking time! The painkillers didn't work either. When I asked for more of 'em, the nurse actually said that I was on too much, and that I might overdose. I wasn't sure whether to be scared, freaked out or in shock. So I just gave an incredulous look.

After one week, I can honestly say, it still freaking hurts! The painkillers I'm on barely numb the pain, and I really ought to find painkillers that actually work. The pain makes walking almost unbearable. I kinda have to slouch when I walk, and it hurts my back (I know you how old people feel now, and let me tell you: I totally respect you now!). My sister actually went and called me "Old Man". *Sigh*

It actually hurts while I'm typing this, and I have no idea how much longer I can stay like this before screaming in pain. Oh, my right arm hurts as well, since that was where the needle with the IV drip was put. Yep, it's going to be really interesting in school, trying to write again.

Wanna what makes all of this bearable and cool? My stitches! I got three holes, one on my right side, one on my left side and one directly above my bellybutton. The put a camera through my left side and used the right and middle areas to take the dumb useless thing out.

Another thing that I like about all this is that I actually like pain, believe it or not. I don't know why. So all this "screaming out in pain" stuff is really cool. I like holding pain in, seeing my limits, testing them again and again. Of course, I dramatize things to get what I want in this household. Shhh! Don't tell the family!

It's going to be really boring in school next week (yes, I got a whole week without school. Probably the most boring week of my life, to be honest). I won't be allowed to walk or run, or stand or do anything interesting or cool. I'm only allowed to sit down and stay put in my class seat until school is over. In fact, I'm not even supposed to be walking around the house. Which I'm doing a lot.

Speaking of school, I recently found out that there's this new girl named - you'll never believe it - (Eliza) Sofea. Just perfect, don't you agree? Apparently she even speaks and acts like the first Sofea. Speaking (or typing) of Sofea, I have to mention this. She's most probably a rebound but I'm interested in another girl, a Form 1 (13 year old). Yeah, either she's a rebound, or I actually like her. Probably the former, but hey, stranger things have happened.

I'm not going to go too detailed in here, since I don't know her that well, other than her name Emalai (obviously anagrammed), and that she's a 13 year old. 2 years younger than me. Yea, I can really see that one working out. If this is the real deal, I think I know why. She's the only girl - no, only person - that doesn't get repelled by the real me. That, and that she actually tries to communicate with me, unlike other people.

Oh, remind me to never be charged into the Selangor Medical Centre at Section 20 in Shah Alam ever again. The only shows that I liked while I was there were Nickelodeon and Discovery Channel. I think I have memorized every channel there is on Nickelodeon, especially the hated Yo Gabba Gabba commercial. The advertisements are stuck in my head! Make it stop, make it stop!!!!

Actually, I'm really supposed to be resting. It's 2:16 AM on Saturday, and I'm in front of the computer with the scars that will look like bullet wounds instead of surgical scars. Cool, eh? Well, I gues I really have to go to sleep. Plus, I'm sleepy. Night night~

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I was going to change my ending to, "For now and forever more", but I changed my mind. Night~!

A few secrets from PostSecret

"Aaah. Secrets. It's the one thing that, once shared, is gone. Everybody has a secret that could break your heart. Remember that, and the world is one step closer to being a better place."

These are three secrets from PostSecret that I truly connected with. The reason they aren't saved in my computer like the rest (actually, they are) is because of the words on 'em. At the website (which updates every Sunday), the words are typed beneath them. I put the pictures here, so that I can keep looking and remembering these secrets. It's a three part secret.

I. The Island of Capri is where I fell in love with Sarah. I was a photographer, but the only thing I have to remember that weekend are 3 postcards. I couldn't stand the thought of missing one moment with her looking through a lens.




II. This is where I fell in love with Sarah. Wherever she is now, whoever she is with I pray that she is happy. Loving her saved my life.




III. These were the moments of my life I loved her more than anything, but it was never meant to be. Through the anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts these moments reassured my life was worth living. I got better help because of her.

For the first time since I was a child I know what it is to be happy.

Yep. There you go. Saved in my blog for as long as this blog is here. Hope Frank doesn't get angry. It is, after all, technically his now.

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

True Lies

"Offing yourself is relatively easy. It's living with the consequences that's hard."

Hey.

Yeah, I'm still alive. No need to call Suicide Hotline! I'm fine. Really. Yes, I'm serious this time.

I guess I was just going through another rough patch. Depression is hard. How the heck do other depressed people stop from killing themselves?! Wait... I'm one of them. Heh, guess I kinda know the answer, since I'm still alive.

For the love of God, put down that phone! I don't need you to call my parents, okay? You'll just make things worse. It's not as if they actually care about my mental and emotional health. After all, they're the ones that laughed when I wanted to go to a therapist for my 3 lettered word disorder. I wonder how other parents would react? Would they actually bring their child to a therapist, or are they all the same?

Meh, it's not for me to know. I'm just a guy, not someone important.

Anyways, I've often been asked why I have a blog. Why? Because I have a lot to say and no one who listens. I'm not much of a writer. I tried keeping diaries, but they all kept failing. At least this way, I have someone to rant, vent, unleash or even cry to. I've been doing that a lot lately. Cry, I mean. Kinda hard not to, when you feel like no one cares. I'm not being emo. Just stating a fact. Unless you're depressed, you won't understand.

You know, I almost cried at school last week. Sure, go on. Laugh, call me a baby. A wimp. At least I'm man enough to show my emotions, unlike you so called "men". Before you ask, I almost cried because of my disorder. I suddenly had the compulsion to arrange everything properly, which kinda stopped me from having a normal conversation with my friend Razleen. That wasn't what made me almost cry though. No offense, Razleen, but I don't think I'll cry if I don't get to talk to you.

What almost did it was the fact that three of my classmates - people I thought friends - were tormenting me, moving the tables, chairs, bags on the tables and etc. It was making me insane! I wasn't sure whether to cry or to explode. I did a little of both, though not too loudly. I forgive them now, but if they do it again, I don't think I can. Unless you have what I have, you'd never understand. It's like a meat eater talking to a vegetarian about meat. The vegetarian would never understand, because he doesn't eat meat. Meh, something like that, anyways.

You know, I just realized this. If it wasn't for this blog I wouldn't be here. My emotions would be all bottled up, I'd have no one to talk to and *poof*, bye bye Sharrif, the guy that jumped off a building. Yeah, if I was gonna kill myself, I'd do that. Much quicker than cutting. Plus, it's more likely to succeed. Haha, I'm telling you guys how I'd off myself. That is so lame! *Starts giggling a bit*

Yep, this blog is my lifeline. *Pats computer adoringly* I don't know what I'd do without it. I think it's even the reason I'm still alive right now. Mark, Tom and Farah have completely deserted me. I haven't seen them in a bit over a week now, and only now have I realized how much I need them. What's funny is that more people are treating me nicer ever since I wrote that post. Kinda odd, don't cha think? They can't care, because I learned a few life lessons the hard way. These include:

i Nice guys finish last.
ii You can't trust anyone but yourself.
iii People say one thing but mean another.
iv Talk is cheap, but even actions lie.

Of course, there's more, but that's all right for now.

Wanna hear some cool stuff? Yes? No? Either way, since you got this far, you won't mind reading more. I can solve a Rubik's Cube! Woo hoo! Call me a dork, call me a geek, nerd, call me whatever you want, but I don't care! I can solve it and you can't! Haha, it feels so awesome actually being able to do it. Your words won't hurt me, because it's mind over matter. I don't mind 'cause you don't matter.

God! My parents are driving me up the wall! They say that they love me, but all they do is nag! Sure, a little nagging is fine. Annoying, but fine. Nagging a lot about important things is okay as well. But about trivial things? Man, that just makes me angry. They even nag when I did something they told me to. Like, my Mum told me to practice the piano, so I did. After I was done, she scolded me for practicing the piano, because there were guests. What the heck!? She told me to practice then, so I did! Don't get me started on my Dad!

If he calls me, and I answer very politely, "Yes, Dad?", he'll go ballistic and call me rude and impolite! I'd understand if I was doing that, but my sisters saw what happened and they even said to him, "What did he do? He wasn't being rude." Needless to say, they got into trouble as well.

Then, when they don't get their way even when they take away everything (I can really survive without entertainment if I want/have to), they start playing the bribery game. They'll go, "If you be good, you can watch TV again.", or, "If you don't be rude, I'll let you touch the computer."

Of course, I don't participate. Bribery is bad, people! They always give in. I'm too stubborn. Yeah, it's a bad thing, but I copied both my parents in this trait.

But I hate that I'm being like my Dad. From his lateness to his bad temper. Whenever I say something, I end up pausing. The reason is 'cause I realize that I'm sounding more and more like my Dad. It's shocking, but there's nothing I can do about it, is there?

Oops, I'm just asking for trouble now! It's 2:07 AM, and I think I'd better sleep! Night, y'all!

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I don't care if my parents read this. At least they'll get an awakening.

Last post!!!!

"The first things are always thought upon happily, but the last of anything is often frowned upon. So treat everything as if it were your first, and never as if it were your last."

Yep. This is it. My last post.

Until 11 days, anyway. Haha, to those that I shocked, I'm just letting you know that I'm going for Umrah in Mekkah for the next 11 days, so don't expect any new posts until May. Well, today was fairly interesting. I went to tuition, and on the way there there was this accident. Someone actually died. It was both cool and scary. It actually made me think.

Life is so short.

Make the best of everyday, of every moment. You never know when it's your turn. Treat your enemies like your best friends. Your ex's as if you never went out. Love like you've never been hurt and laugh like there's no tomorrow, because technically, there never is. The past is gone. The present never happens. The future is unknown. So live accordingly. Live in the "now".

On another note, I did a this test on how fast I typed and this is what I got:

44 words

Speedtest

44?! That's it?! I am NOT that slow! So, being the stubborn thing that I am, I did it once more. This was my result:

49 words

Speed test

Actually, this is 50. But I made one mistake, and that is my final result. God, this is frustrating. Alright, one more time...

50 words

Speedtest

Dang it!!!!!!!! I got 52 words, but 2 wrong answers. Okay, LAST time! I'll be happy with my answer. (No I won't)

51 words

Speed test

Alright!!! 291 characters per minute. 51 words! That's more like it! Yes, I know. I rock. Plus, I finally beat my pet sister Reysha. The first two times she beat me by one word. One! Do you know how annoying that is?!

If you don't, it's extremely annoying. Anyways,

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

EDIT: 56 words

Speed test

Sorry, couldn't resist. Heh.

5 useless facts about Sharrif

"Tags are universal now. Either in games, vlogs, videos, items for sale and yes, even blogs."

Wow, after an absence, the only thing I can do is a tag. You must really hate me, right? Especially since my last post was so long. Well, it's not my fault. The stupid teachers in my stupid school do not know the meaning of "rest". They give us loads of homework and expect us to finish it by the deadline stated. Don't they know that we, unlike them, actually have a life?

Right, on to the actual purpose of this post. Thanks to Ryan (Darn you!), I now have to post 5 random and useless facts about me. So, here goes. Note: I'm only going to put facts that practically no one knows.

"What's that you say? You want my first fact?"

Fact number 1 about me is, I really hate it when someone calls me "Sheikh". I don't care that it's easier to say than "Sharrif"! I still hate it a lot! It not only feels formal, but you sound like you're calling my Dad! Please, don't do that. As an added thought, every time someone calls me "Sheikh", I really have this strong urge to beat the person up, be it guy or girl. Since I don't hit girls, I tend to say to myself, "Pretend he's a girl, pretend he's a girl..." until I calm down.

"Don't tell me you wanna know more?!"

The second fact about me is that I keep having this thought of me either faking my death or having some kind of terrible accident happen to me. No, it's not because I have a sick imagination or something like that! It's just, well, I want to know who really cares about me. I want to see how many people visit my "grave", or visit me in the hospital. Heck, I even want to know how many people would attend my funeral. I keep guessing the amount, and it's really low, to be frank.

"Another one? You sure?"

Number 3 in my list of useless facts is that I have imaginary friends. (I can't believe that I actually typed that...) Their names are Tom, Mark and Farah. They each specialize in helping different aspects of my life. Tom helps me in life. Mark with my school life. Farah with my love life. So if you see me talking to myself, I'm not, actually. I'm talking to them. Yes, I know that people with imaginary friends are those that are depressed. I don't think I am, but then, who knows, really? I guess that deep down, I really am depressed. Either that, or my imagination is way too high. I prefer the latter one.

"If you keep this up, it's gonna start costin' ya."

Lucky number 4. Time to talk about something extra personal. I often feel ignored and unloved, either at home or at school. Yeah, sure, you can say that you care for me and whatnot, but I look at actions, not words. Even though actions can lie, at least you're making the effort of trying to make it seem that I'm cared for. Why do I think like this? In a group conversation, I'm usually left out. When I try to enter the discussion, I usually get ignored and just end up listening.

Speaking of listening, I really hate the fact that I'm always listening. I listen to everyone's problems, but none listen to mine. Another thing I hate is that although loads of girls have said that girls will like me because (and they'll give their own reasons), but how come none have even said so? The reason I can make out is that I'm the type of guy that girls only want as a friend, never as a boyfriend. Well, I guess it's the bachelor life for me.

"What is it with you and my life?!"

At last, here we are. The end of the line. I think I'll just say something non-personal and random, to counter the last one.

I like eggs.

Haha, too random, I know. But seriously, though. This next fact is that I love oxymorons. Flawed perfection. Honest lies. Sweet bitterness. Dumb genius. Smart idiot. Organized chaos. Chaotic peace. Rich beggar. Poor millionare.

Those kinda stuff. Why? I don't know why. I just love oxymorons. If it contradicts itself, I'll love it.

Okay, then. I haven't finished my History folio yet (and it's due tomorrow! Oh God!), so

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~

Horror Movie A Day

"The more horror movies you watch, the less scared you'll be when it actually happens to you. Well, that's the theory, anyway."

Hey! Today, I'm going to do some promoting for the blog "Horror Movie A Day" by a guy named Brian who lives in L.A.. His blog, called Horror Movie A Day (obviously!), and it's among my links part of this blog. You can find it. If you're too retarded and brain damaged to still find it, his blog URL is "http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com".

If you still can't find it, then I sincerely hope that you're not a registered voter.

About Brian's blog, well, it's amazing. He is really dedicated to posting about a new horror movie daily. His sense of humour, especially his sarcasm, is well timed and generally perfect. I've never gotten tired of reading his posts. Unless, of course, when I'm sleepy.

His favourite movies are the ones where he can tear apart the movies because of their total horribleness and, quite frankly, it's quite a lot. Let's put it like this.

It never ceases to amaze me on how he can have the time to watch, review and then actually post a (usually) long post on a horror movie. Not that they're reviews. They're more like a discussion, only to himself, since most likely we've never even seen the movie itself.

That's about it, so shoo off, now, and take a look at it. I'm going to the KL Freeze In Unison tomorrow (or... Today, as it's already 12:50) so I'm going to bed. Night!

I know, I'm a bad promoter. Sue me.

Till next time,

~Josh the Joshster~