Friday 7 August 2009

Misery loves me

"There are times when God decides to screw you over. It could be because it's for your own good, it could be because it fits a divine purpose. Or, it could be just because He has a sense of humour."

This is a year of self control for me. Well, not year, actually. More of week. Yes, definitely. This has been a week of self control for me. Why? Because I have been in so many situations where I feel the urge to swear and curse. All in one week.

Amazing, isn't it?

So far, I've only punched my computer screen, yelled at my pillow, slammed my room door and hit this good for nothing a few times. Oh, and I've threatened a few people. All in all, I handled it very well.

My Internet connection is messing with me. Right when I'm actually doing something, it'll do this pattern of "disconnects for a few seconds" followed by "connects back for about a minute". It'll keep doing this for at least 5 times. Thus, that explains the hitting the computer screen. Or monitor. Or whatever the Hell it's called.

The next three are actually part of the same thing. You remember the girl I like? Well, I was planning on confessing, or, at the very least, asking for her number, on Wednesday. Only problem was, she was sick that day. I couldn't ask her the next day, (A.K.A. the Thursday tuition) because I was one of the committee members of this ExploRace. (imagine The Amazing Race but at a school level; I'm one of the people at the stations)

Anyways, that was the worst day to be absent. The worst day. Just to emphasize it some more, the ultimate worst day to have been absent. Her friends went and freaking told her that I liked her! What the Hell?! Why would you do that!? Regardless of whether or not she reciprocates, I end up at the losing end!

Okay, sure, if she likes me (my friend told me that she said my name in a shocked voice when she heard I liked her; the intonation he used suggests she doesn't like me) it's a good thing. But then, I'm pressured into telling her how I feel. If I don't, I just look like a loser or a wimp. But if I do, I'll end up messing it up! That's what pressure does to you!

If she doesn't like me, well, then, that's pretty obvious, now isn't it? If I don't confess, I still look like a wussy. If I do confess, then I just made a fool out of myself.

This is a saying I live by when it comes to making decisions: Make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.

In other words, it means "when you make a decision, make sure you know if it's worth it."

In this case, I can do nothing. At all. Argh!!!! I am NEVER trusting ANYONE with this kind of information again. Ever. God! *Goes off to punch the wall a few times*

Okay, I'm back, and my fists are slightly purple. Nothing to worry about, though. I've been through worse. Where was I? Oh, right.

As I was saying, this is a lose-lose situation. My best bet, (and this is a lousy idea, by the way) is to ignore her for at least a month, pretend that I don't like her, and wait until everything cools down before I do what I planned. Yes, yes, I know it's terrible. But my only other plan is this:

Ask her for her number, and convince her to give it to me. If she asks if I like her, I'm going to be upfront and honest about it, but still say I want her number, not because I like her, but because I want to get to know her better. If she still doesn't give me her number (unless she can't, like her parents don't allow, her phone is spoiled and she's getting a new one, etc.) then I'm going to start the long painful journey of getting her out of my system.

I know the second plan is much better, but I don't think I'll have the guts to do it. We'll see, though. If more than 3 people leave a comment telling me I should follow the second plan, I'll do it.

Peer pressure at its best.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. At this moment in time, I'm angry at 3 people. A, H and Z, in alphabetical order. I'll cross them out as I forgive them.

A
H
Z

EDIT: (Z changed his story, and his original story was a lie. They weren't involved, and if they were, it was accidental. I apologize to A and H, and Z, you just love asking for trouble, don't you? *Glares*)

1 comment:

LuqCrusher said...

Follow the second plan.

By the way, I know I don't and can never fully understand your situation, and also, it's easier to tell others how to do things rather than you doing it when you're in that position, but istighfar banyak-banyak.

Whatever it is, don't say, "God, I have a problem."
Instead, say, "Problem, I have a God".

Hope that helped.

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Why "Flawed Perfection"?

I chose "Flawed Perfection" because nice ones such as "Honest Lies" and "Organized Chaos" were already chosen. In fact, Flawed Perfection was already chosen as well, but among all my ideas, this one was my favourite.

I like the reminder that everything is flawed perfectly.

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