ONE ENTIRE MONTH?!

"Something small and seemingly insignificant could be the difference between life and death."

I didn't realize I've been AWOL for so long. In fact, I don't think I'd have even bothered to show up here if it wasn't for the fact that I suddenly remembered that I had a blog.

Stupid of me, huh?

But I'm feeling kinda good about myself. When I opened it, (my blog, I mean) I saw that I had 5 unapproved comments. 5! That's never happened before!

... Yes, I'm feeling really pathetic about myself right now...

Ah, well. Two of them were spam, and one was from my cousin (he practically gives me a comment for every post!) which isn't an odd thing, but I then saw that I received another two comments, one from an old friend (yay!) and another from a total stranger. Yes, that was a really cool moment for me, haha.

Anyways, lemme just give a really brief summary of what's happened. It won't really be brief, but meh. It's briefer than how it should be, knowing me.

Okay, let's start from Eid. We went to loads of houses, etc., the usual. For some reason, Eid this year was really subdued, and therefore kinda boring. I can't quite place it. It's just been... Different? Yeah, it just wasn't the same somehow... The atmosphere was totally different.

A few days later, on a Thursday, my buddy Shane invited me and some of his friends to go to Sunway for a movie. We planned to watch Gamer, but because of a mistake, we ended up taking the later tickets. None of us really wanted to watch it at that time, so we started selling the tickets to everyone around the place. All, except one. I volunteered to be the only one to watch it. We played some bowling (I lost badly) and then, when it was time to watch the movie, I left the rest for the movie. It was quite good, although not as fun as it'd be if I was with friends.

Now, skip ahead to my Eid open house. A lot of people came, but not as much as I invited. Unfortunately. While my friends were there, at first we sat all nicely, being good boys and girls. Then the party really started when we started being pushed in the pool. That was when no one was safe. Well, except for the girls. As for the guys... In the end, everyone was soaked.Some of us, like Ben and myself, jumped in. The rest? Pushed in. Haha.

Let us skip ahead to Ben's birthday party/Eid open house (4th of October) where, besides the usual talking and hanging out, some interesting things happened. We first found out that Ben has NO idea how to read the obvious clues that people give him. Let me explain. When we were all feeling hot, we saw an unopened aircond right above this huge family photo. So we all started saying stuff like, "Wow, it's so hot right now... Hm, look at that huge thing above the picture!" This went on for like, 10 minutes before someone went and flat out told him that we were feeling hot and needed to cool off. Another thing that happened was that, while we were playing basketball with a trampoline, T couldn't score, no matter how close she was to the net. It was kinda funny, seeing her jump on the trampoline, practically slam dunking the ball, but with no score. When she finally did score a goal, the way she jumped around was almost as funny, if not funnier.

But the most epic part was when R did an amazing thing. Remember the trampoline? You know what you do when there's a trampoline, right? You jump on it. But I guess no one told it to him, because what he did was run towards the net and tripped over it! Bahahaha, even after a month that's still funny.

Of course, since I'm humiliating them to the world, I've just called them using a letter, and no, it's not the letter of their first names.

Moving on, let us continue forward all the way to now. A couple of weeks ago, we had our exams. I don't think I did well at it; 5 As, 2 Bs, 2Cs and 3 unknown marks. Of course, I didn't do as bad as some other people who failed, but since I got marks that became worse, it was a disappointment. What sucks the most is the fact that technically, my Chem would've been an B, but no the way I answered was incorrect, so I ended up getting a C. This just blows.

Oh, and at the moment, I'm part of this flashmob thing called BX. I'd love to elaborate more, but since it's a flashmob, it's kinda a buzzkill to do so. After all, the whole point of it is to shock, surprise and amaze everyone. I'll just say this, though; the kalang was fun but really tough to do.

Maybe that'll tell you everything, maybe it won't. But I'm not explaining any more. *Gives a huge grin*

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Forgot to mention. Yesterday, I had friends come over, and it was great. Then later I got a FaceBook wall post from one of my friends, telling me that I missed my certificate ceremony. Merde. Ah, well, at least today I got to watch The Butterfly Effect. The first one. It's a great show, you should watch it. Just a warning, though: If you like "happy rainbows and flowers" kinda endings, buy the theatrical cut DVD. If you like endings that fit with the storyline, even though to some they may seem creepy, disturbing, deep or hard to comprehend, get the Directors Cut DVD. I watched the latter, and trust me, it was awesome. The other ending(s) don't really fit as much.

(Note: There are 4 different endings; 3 from the TC, 1 from the DC)

Temporary Respite

"Break the rules; apologize later. Life's too short to be restrained."

Okay, so I haven't been blogging in a while. Scratch that, make that a long while. Hold on, I'll continue blogging later. I kinda got distracted and ended up doing all sorts of other things online. It's now 1:17 AM, and I should be going to bed now.

I'll explain as much detail as I can remember since I last blogged.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. To all the Form 3's, good luck for PMR!

A great era

"The 90's was awesome."

I'm getting all nostalgic again. I can't stop thinking about the 90's. I was fortunate enough to be born early enough to be a part of it, although barely. The 90's was the time when it was actually worth it to wake up early for cartoons, the time that kids would be allowed to climb trees and have fun outdoors without any of this pollution corrupting our bodies, the time that we'd stay up all night telling each other ghost stories, the time that Tamaguchi was a rage, when having a PlayStation was cool, and when it was fun collecting stuff.

It was the time of marbles, the time of hopscotch, the time of jump rope. The peak of television, as well. What '90's kid can forget these lines? "Psyche!" "You did whaaaat?" "If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?" "[Insert any line here]... Not."

You can't forget quality shows such as Angry Beavers; Doug; Rugrats; Full House; Student Body; Pepper Ann; Hey Arnold!; As Told By Ginger; Recess; Even Stevens; Pink in the Brain; Lloyd in Space; among a lot of others.

Hey, not even forgetting the shows such as X-Files; Friends; The Sopranos; Ally McBeal; Law and Order; Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (original); Beverly Hills, 90210; The Bill Cosby Show; Dawson's Creek; Boy Meets World; All That!; among others.

Movies such as Home Alone; Back To The Future.

Ah, yes, the 90's were awesome. In fact, here's a list to tell whether you were part of the awesomeness that is the 90's:

You know the entire theme song to The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air.
You read GooseBumps.
You got scared watching Are You Afraid Of The Dark.
You collected and/or played Pogs.
You remember collecting and/or fighting over Beanie Babies, Tickle me Elmo toys and/or Furbies.
You went through a slap-stick bracelet phase.
You know the Macarena.
Your shoes had flashing lights. (Oh, man, those were my favourite shoes!)
You learned something from watching Bill Nye.
You had a cassette in your radio so you could record your favourite song when it came on.
You remember the times of VCR's and VHS.
You wanted to find Carmen Sandiego and Waldo.
You predicted your future with one of the paper origami mouth things.
You argued over which was better: Ice Ice Baby or You Can't Touch This.
You thought gas was expensive when it was over $1.
You remember when having the Internet was cool.
You thought that the cool people were those with the biggest walkmans and the biggest headphones.
You remember playing (or owning) a SEGA console.
You used to wake up early just to watch cartoons.
You remember when MTV used to show music.
You remember this: Do you know what the Rock is cooking? and the Undertaker scared the crap out of you.
You actually thought wrestling was real.
You know that The Pink Ranger (Kimberly) and The Green Ranger (Tommy) were meant to be together. (Cool fact: The guy that plays the Green Ranger, Tommy, is in a lot of Power Ranger shows; even the spin-offs)
You took a side when it came to Sonic or Mario.
You collected and/or played Pokemon cards.
You got confused at least once watching Pete And Pete.
You've ended any sentence with either "Not!" or "Psyche!"
Yo-yo's were cool.
You played with either a Gigapet, a Tamaguchi or something similar.
You remember singing along to the songs in The Land Before Time.
You watched Barney, Sesame Street and/or Teletubbies.
You crank called your friends since there wasn't Caller ID.
You were scared of getting Cooties.
You had (or knew someone that had) a miniature car/bike that they "drove" in.
You remember playing with Nerf and Super Soakers.
You remember playing LIFE, Battleships, Guess Who? and when there was only ONE Monopoly.
You remember thinking you could beat those kids in Legends Of The Hidden Temple.
You tried setting traps on people like from Home Alone.
You wanted a DeLorean after watching Back To The Future.
You know that "You said whaaaaat?" was from Full House.
No one was a better basketballer than Michael Jordan.
You wanted to be shrunk like in "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids".
House Arrest was one of your favourite movies.
You wanted to join Johnny Q on his adventures. (The episode where they got trapped in virtual reality... That actually creeped me out)
You remember playing with those jelly toys that would stick to walls.
You had at least one temporary tattoo.
You took a picture with film.
Crash Bandicoot. 'Nuff said.
You remember when the gameboys were about the size of a brick.
You remember playing outside, and that it was boring to stay inside. (Wow, big difference to now, huh?)
You remember that cell phones were huge.
You liked listening to N*Sync, Backstreet Boys, Westlife and/or The Spice Girls.
You remember playing one of those "hand clapping games".
You wanted to be slimed on Nick! (I actually got, too, when I was 6!)
You played with Hotwheels.
You ate carrots because of Bugs Bunny.
You liked Bill and Ted.

Compiled and edited from random sources on the web.

The 90's were EPIC. Now, kids just stay at home with the TV and the computers... Kinda like what I'm doing now... Ah, well, at least I had my fun of climbing trees and just sitting in the grass. Will there ever be an era as good as the 90's again?

In other news, I just want to say this about Kanye: Dude, no one cares if you think Beyoncee's music is better. Taylor Swift won. Deal with it!

Alright, I'm a wee bit sleepy now. Night night.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I'm in love with KND again. I'm rewatching the show, it's awesome. Nigel and Rachel belong together, don't you agree?

Sarcasm

"Sarcasm is a beautiful art."

Objective:

Are you mean and sarcastic?

Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically?

If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are!

If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.



Rule:

Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could.

----------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying person says:


1) I am cute.

Define "cute".


2) I am the most beautiful/handsome.

In what Universe? Your own?


3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!

Obviously. Why else would they like you?


4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled.

Being able to burp the alphabet and squirt milk out your nose isn't an achievement, buddy.


5) You don’t know me? I am an artist; I have albums.

That garbage was music?

----------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying pretty/handsome woman/man says:

1) I know you like me.

Oh, honey, you're so out of your league.


2) What you looking at? I am not interested in you!

Oops, I was just staring at that hideous thing on your shoulders. What is that freak of nature?

3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!

Your type is "lame and desperate", right? Oh, wait, no, that's just you.


4) UNLESS you are rich, don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!

Why would I want a pathetic little thing like you to have a ride with me?


5) Look, I am pretty/handsome; I can make people hate you!

Being hated by your imaginary friends isn't really a big deal for me.


----------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:


1) I think you and I can make a good couple.

Maybe, but why would I want to take the risk of finding out?


2) May I have your cell phone number? Please please please?

*Laughs*


3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night…

But that's not what I want.


4) What do you like about me?

*Long pause* I got nothing.


5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!

And I'd like Emma Watson, but we can't all get what we want, can we?


----------------------------------------------------------------

If your enemy says:


1) Hi bitch!

*Keeps quiet until I realize he/she is looking at me* Oh, you were talking to me? Sorry, I thought you were talking to yourself again. Honest mistake.


2) You smell like shit!

I'd give a witty comeback, but you smell so bad that I just gotta leave now. *Goes away*


3) I know you hate me because I am much better than you!

Yes, you're right. No one else I know can be as dumb as you. Congratulations on actually beating me at something.


4) What an ugly creature you are!

Hey, just 'cause I don't look like a pig like you doesn't mean you should be insulting my looks!


5) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!

Okay, while you do that, I have a question. Do you want me to wait for you at the finish line?


Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Woah, three posts in a single day. That's gotta be some kinda record for me.

An Entertaining, Interesting, Odd, Upstarting interview

"When you're angry, you don't say what you mean."

I've calmed down now. But I'm still angry. I can't forgive my Mum, at least, not yet. What she did... Was evil to me. I don't care if none of you understand how I'm feeling about it, and why it affects me so badly.

Anyways, there's another reason to why I'm blogging so soon. I just went through my interview about my collections. They mostly asked about my collection of books, but they also took pictures of my coin collection. I wasn't expecting that, since I wasn't planning on showing it. My coin collection is more of a "when I'm bored and see a cool looking coin" sorta thing, heh.

The interview and photos were for a magazine called "Yezzz", or something like that. They're in their second year, but to be honest, I have no idea what that magazine is. The specific issue with me in it will come out in November, so it'll be a while before I can show it to anyone. You guys can wait, right?

Oh, yeah, and they're probably going to interview my little sis as well (she collects purses. A lot of them) and my friend Khalid. (biggest collection of guitars that I know) They made me do some weird poses, too. Like, I had to lie down on a pile of my books. I was like, "What the Hell?" the entire time, but meh. It was an interesting experience.

Right. Now I gotta go to tuition. Later, then.

Salut,

~Joshy~

Unforgivable

"Only four things in life should be sacred. The first is God and religion. Second is your life. Third is nature and the environment. And the last is up to you."

I may be going to Hell for saying this, but I don't care. Nope, not a single bit. What was done to me is justifiable.

I hate my Mum. No, make that my ex-Mum now. No, my parents didn't have a divorce. But my "Mum" went and crossed the line. There is only one thing that I truly care about in my life, and that is books. I don't know why, but I have a strange love for them. It pains me to see someone desecrating a novel. You need to know this first, so that you might understand how I feel.

Anyways, my "Mum" did an unforgivable act to me. She went and moved my books around. Oh, I can hear you all thinking, "That's it? What the Hell is your problem? Relax, man." or something like that. But I have all my books in a specific and exact order. To move them around is to screw with me mentally, emotionally and physically.

Here's a comparison for you to understand. Think of something (or someone) that you care about the most. Maybe it's your partner. Maybe it's a pet. Maybe it's a special kind of food. Now, imagine someone taking that away from you. Think of the worst thing that could happen to them. Example, someone stealing away your partner from you. Someone running over your beloved pet. Someone taking away every single morsel of that food you love forever.

Feel the grief? The pain? The sadness and sorrow? The anger as well? Now multiply that by about 20. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm furious, I feel like crying, I want to destroy the wall and break stuff in my room, I want to curl into a ball and just die. Thankfully, my parents don't have any guns in the house, and there's no convenient place for a hanging. The place the knives are are too crowded. I guess I'll just have to suffer through this.

You can look down on me if you want. I don't care, since you can't really understand how I feel until you have something you'd go to Hell for. Don't ask me why I love books so much. I just do.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I do not want any religious-themed comments. If you send one, be careful, because I will hunt you down and murder you. No, I am not joking.

Obliviously obvious

"Why make promises that you can't keep?"

A view inside one of the trains

Candid photo of the inside of a decorated train

Another train

Group 1, AKA my group

As promised, here are some of the photos. There are loads more, but I'm too tired, too lazy and too noncommittal to post them. Heh. Oh, and sorry for a very late post of photos!

You know, I haven't been online in a while. It's weird. I've been spending way too much time on TV, reading and sleeping. I guess my priorities are changing? Ah, well. Life's like that, I guess.

Remember I said that I'd be in a magazine interview? Well, it hasn't happened yet, but it'll be soon. Not sure at the exact date yet, though. In case you're wondering, the interview is about "things that teenagers collect" (or something like that) and mine happened to be books! (Big surprise, haha)

Hmm, speaking of books, I'm thinking of starting my own book review blog, where I review any and all books (weekly or daily) on it. I'm not sure yet on whether I'll make it daily or weekly, or even if I'll be starting it at all! Any comments on this would be greatly appreciated, and thanks in advance.

Reaper's season 2 is quite good, actually, though it sucks that the show has ended. Dumb executives decided to cancel it before the show finished naturally. I mean, good shows should end on it's own. Look at Lost. Boy Meets World. The X-Files. They all ended, but at least they ended nicely. Canceling a show (especially a good one) is equivalent to murder in my opinion. *Sigh*, hopefully Reaper will get resurrected soon. Or at least before the actors get too old to act the same characters.

Speaking of resurrection of old shows, have any of you been watching the new 90210? In case you haven't, don't. It's a terrible show. The old 90210 had class. The new one? A waste of space and time. It's amazing how terrible shows like these stay alive while good shows die. Reminds me of that old saying, "sex sells".

Oh, I just have to say this! Yoona is adorable! Yes, I know a lot of guys think that. But hey, why deny the truth? Haha. Almost beats Emma Watson, but nah, she's still my favourite celebrity. (How can anyone beat athletics, brains, humbleness, grounded, good acting skills and looks? That's like, the perfect combo!)

Hmm, now that we're at the topic of girls... I just want you all to know, as far as you're concerned, I don't like her anymore. That's all you need to know.

*Groan*, it's getting late now. Almost 1 AM, yikes. And I'll have to wake up at 5 for sahur. (The morning meal before dawn for Muslim fasting) Perfect!

Salut,

~Joshy~

How it is

"I'd rather have loved and won."

Incomparable

I've looked for forever,
Yet none can compare;
Not the tears of angels,
Nor the taste of their hair.

You may not be perfect,
That I agree,
But perfection is void,
When it's you that I see.

You're nothing I want,
You're nothing I need;
Yet I long for you,
How can that be?

I might say that I love you,
But I know you won't care.
And as much as I'll look,
None will compare.

That defines my disaster.

Salut,

~Josh~

P.S. I might be in a magazine, the interview is this Saturday. Will elaborate later. Maybe. [The pictures will come with an apology]

Hari Merdeka! (Independence Day)

"Some things are worth remembering"

I'm too sleepy to actually give my usual blow-by-blow account, so here's a little teaser to keep you tuned in to my blog. Heh, heh.

The Merdeka Train Party was awesome! We went there, got on a train, discussed a bit after we got off, got back on, decorated the interior of said train, then went home.

It was among the best 3 hours of my life! Plus, I got free hugs. Yay!

Everything will be explained in the afternoon, as soon as I get back from school get online go on blogger. That's a promise.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I'll even upload a couple of photos, too!

I hate learning about things late

"No news is good news, but what about slow news?"

I wanted to sleep, then I found this out. [Thank you, TimothyDeLaGhetto2 and sxephil for the heads up, although a bit late]

Now, I may be one of the last people on Earth to find this out, but what the Hell was she thinking, taking more naked pictures of herself?! Yes, I'm talking about the leaked photos of Vanessa earlier this month.

Okay, I can accept the earlier pictures. The ones that first gave her trouble. She was young, dumb, wanted to show off to Zac (or whoever) and it ended up badly.

But this. This is just ridiculous. What kind of genius decides to send more naked pictures of themselves when they've been caught (and publicly humiliated) doing it? It's like touching an electric fence twice. Just to see if it was still on.

Those that have seen the original (meaning, the first batch) of pictures, you can tell it was definitely "homemade pictures", 'cause of the way that she was just standing there, hair barely combed, not good lighting, room all messy, etc. If you don't believe me, go and look through those photos you saved (oh, no, don't deny that you don't have any; unless you're a girl, you're gay, you've seen better or you didn't even see the originals) and look at her. I mean, not look at her, but at her surroundings. "Sloppy", in other terms.

These new ones, though... It's obvious that she's had her makeup done and I think she even did her hair. The clothes she was wearing (technically, it's just panties though) could be considered "stylish". Since I only saw the censored versions (thank God; I burned my eyes seeing the first batch, she was that bad) I can't base this on facts, but I heard that she also shaved her pubes! Hell, it looked like a professional shoot, the kind you expect to see in stuff like porn magazines. She probably hired people to do all these things to/for her.

Now, the only reasons I can think of anyone doing any of this are:

1) You're desperate for money, and you're selling naked pictures of yourself to gain said money.

As we all know, she's a (somewhat) successful actress. So we can safely rule this one out.

2) You want people to see you naked.

I go with number 2.

Hell, she should've just sold the pictures, instead of sending the pictures to everyone on her phonebook and/or e-mail.* At least she'd get paid. I wanted to sleep, and I ended up writing about this crap. It's interesting about how lawyers went and sent e-mails to websites, telling them that the publication of her pictures were illegal, as it was a violation to her privacy, and a publication of her private facts. Umm... What "private facts" are we talking about here, exactly?

One last note, though. Am I the only person who finds it amusing that she has a poster of Zac Efron in her bedroom?

Salut,

~Joshy~

*I am just speculating here.

P.S. Happy Birthday Malaysia! You're now another year older! The fireworks were beautiful.

P.P.S. Questions asked directly to me regarding porn (directly or indirectly) will not be entertained. Unless I feel like it.

P.P.P.S. The MTP is going to held at 2 PM later today, I can barely wait! It took hours for me and my sisters to get all the stuff ready.

Final Destination 4

"The unbelievable happens every day."

I just found out that there's going to be a Final Destination 4 (AKA The Final Destination). If it's any better than the last sequel (which isn't really hard to do, if you think about it) it's going to be a good movie. It's also going to be in 3-D! If you've never watched a Final Destination movie, then you probably won't understand why this makes the movie so great. Just imagine loads of projectiles coming right out of the screen to hit you. That's the best I can do.

From what I know so far (and that's only because of Brian from Horror Movie A Day; you should go check it out, great stuff there) this movie is the shortest in the series. It also has the most death counts, so that means less story, more killing. Which is actually a good thing, because if there was a continuity storyline (especially like in the second movie) it'd be hard to understand without watching the original.

Apparently, the way the people are going to die seems way more interesting, if I'm going to trust Brian. (and I usually do) This movie is also supposedly much funnier than before, so I'm guessing it's going to be hilarious. I wonder if they'll be able to beat my FD2's favourite death scene:

After a lot of close calls, this guy goes, "Shit, I'm lucky." Then, moments later, he gets killed.

That, my friends, was epic.

Ah, well, I guess I'll just have to wait until it comes out here, or at the very least, on DVD. I seriously can't wait! Hopefully it won't be a bad sequel. The first was amazing, second was good, third; terrible. Sense the pattern? Oh, well. I just gotta wait, it seems.

On another note, I can't wait for other awesome movies, like Saw VI, too. Why the Hell are they showing epic movies at the same freaking time?!

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Here's the video trailer for both The Final Destination and Saw VI. Awesome, no?





Enjoy.

Personality Quiz

"Sometimes, truths can be shocking."

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

To those interested in doing this:

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Salut,

~Joshy~

Pain For Pleasure

"Not everything that hurts us makes us stronger."

Some things need to be shared. This isn't one of them.

This sucks. My life is really unstable right now. I'm wondering if it's a good thing for me to hook up with my old friends. After all, at my current state, I might scare them off. Oh, well, I've already sent the requests, so I can't really do much about it...

Who knew that one past action done years ago, and one single person, who shouldn't mean anything much to me, could cause so many problems? I mean, I've been clean for what, 5 years? Maybe 6. So why the Hell is my body still giving me problems?! Well, I've learned a very valuable (albeit years late) lesson: Being high is not worth the cost. Hmm... You'd think I'd have learned that on my own. Guess not, then.

I can't believe just learning that this one person is avoiding me, to the extent of being blocked, is such a blow to me. I'm not even close to this person (we'll call this person "P", or "it", just to make things easier) and yet, after finding out that "it" blocked me... *Sigh* I wonder what "P" did to cause such an impact in my life. After all, I barely see "it" in the first place. Gaah!

In other news, I can't wait for Assassin's Creed II! The trailer itself looks awesome, and if it's as good as the trailer, it's going to be an awesome gaming experience! Hell, even if it's just better than Assassin's Creed I, it'll still be a great game. After all, Assassin's Creed had a great story arc, and the ending was... Well, at first, I thought the ending was one of those "not predictable, but not surprising" sort of endings... Then the actual ending came. That was actually a shock. To me, at least. The only thing that I sorta didn't like about the game was that it was somewhat repetitive, both the investigations and the fighting. But overall, it's given a 9.5/10 by me.

I still haven't finished MGS4 yet. How the Hell do you beat Liquid at the end?! Help, please?

Right, well, that's about it for now.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Remember a couple of posts back, I wanted to talk about some stuff? Well, I'll talk about them later, maybe tomorrow.

P.P.S. Luqman, remind me to return your game next time we meet up.

It's 11:50 PM. Very reasonable, no?

"Memories, not experience, shape a person."

I hate this town.

Well, okay, hate is a such a harsh word. And I don't really hate, in the first place. Lemme change it a bit...

I don't like this town.

Yeah, yeah... That's a lot better now.

Anyway, you're probably wondering why I dislike (not hate) the town I live in. It's nothing personal, and to be honest, the city I'm in right now didn't do anything bad to me at all. It's just that... I don't feel like I'm at home here. You know how when you travel, and you live in foreign places, you don't feel like it's home? Well, that's something of how I'm feeling here. Even after about 6 years here, I still feel like a foreigner, an immigrant to this place.

Now, whenever I talk about this, I always remember my real hometown, T.T.D.I. There, I always felt at home. Even during the rare times that I get to visit my old neighbourhood, I still feel like I'm returning home. The great park/field there, my close-knit neighbours... I can still remember a couple of them vividly, as well as something specific about them. I'd put it up here, but I don't want to miss anyone out, or leave something out. And editing it later is kind of a hassle, heh heh.

My old school, SK TTDI... That school was, is, and probably will always be, epic! All the great stuff that happened there... Me being a leader of a group, as well as turning it into a sort of "clique"... Defying the teacher's orders and rules... The great games of tag... (the way we played it, we dodged each other Matrix-style and people actually got hurt - and I don't even think Matrix was out yet, then!) Oh, and how could I forget stuff like being taught by my friend the ways of running, balancing and dodging? Or the time I had my first ever fistfight? The Harry Potter craze, where we all became a character of the magical world... (I still have the book where we wrote the each character's names) The MedaBots craze... That was also the time I had alliances and allegiances with people, and the place where I learned about loyalty to friends. The place I realized that even strict teachers can be understanding (refer to the fistfight) and that teachers have really wild imaginations. I can't forget being an awesome player at dodgeball .(I have no idea how good/bad I am now) And one thing that I'll definitely never forget is that this is the place where I got burned, right on my left arm.

Not to mention the people that entered my life. This list is by far incomplete, but it needs to be here. While forgetting people from my neighbourhood, although a sad thing, it's still an "expendable" memory. These people aren't, and will never be.

~Amran, one of my first best friends.
~Ming Yi, another early best friend who was (and still is) awesome at drawing, and is also very very smart.
~Aiman Hadi, the kinda pale guy who everyone could get along with.
~Andrew, the genius.
~Jason, the guy with very fast feet (you don't need to understand what that means) as well as being the "alien" of the class.
~Mark and Marwan, the "twins". (They weren't really twins; they just looked alike. Really, really alike)
~Hussein, the guy that burned me, as well as being the only person to follow me into the hall that day.
~Amirul, the guy that taught me about balancing, running properly and the best way to dodge people. In other words, my "master". (I have no idea how he knew everything that he knew)
~Helmi, one of the shortest person I knew. But he was also one of the fastest. (When we played tag, and he was it, it was nearly impossible to dodge or get away from him if he locked onto you; but once, I was very lucky and did a Matrix style dodge, and he missed me. Heh heh)
~Johann, a fast runner as well as the guy having 11 fingers.
~Bron Win, one of the smallest and smartest girls I knew.
~Jasmeen, one of the best assistant monitors I know.
~Brenda and Belinda, two very identical twins.
~Pauline, a librarian.
~(Dang, I can't remember this girl's name, but it started with W. We used to have debates and discussions on books)
~Arina, one of those people that oddly stays in your memory.

These are just among a few of the people from that school. I've lost touch with some of them, but not with a few others. With a couple of them, unfortunately we've now become "hey" friends. You know, the type of friend that you only say "hi" to if you see them, but you're not likely to have an engaging conversation with them. The worst part is, I know that if I hadn't moved until at least another 2 years (AKA, when I'm 13, instead of 11) I'd at least be able to stay in touch easier with them.

After looking around in FaceBook, I'm slowly trying to find my old friends again. I've found a few already, and hopefully, I'll find all of them. Wish me luck!

Hm, I planned to talk about a lot of other things.

I didn't say a thing that I planned, but I said everything that I had to.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. To all my friends that live in Shah Alam, if you're reading this, don't take it personally. I just prefer TTDI more, if I'm being honest.

P.P.S. If anyone of my primary school friends reads this, remembers me, and wants to add me on FaceBook or MySpace, my profile's link is right at the side of this blog. Oh, and if you need urging to remember me, I'm Sharrif, the guy that was deemed "Harry Potter". Hope that helps to jump start your memory!

Interesting, insightful but not very important

"What we say and do will come back to haunt us."

It's 3:50 in the morning. Man, I know for sure I won't be sleeping until after Subuh... Meh, I'm not gonna blog until later, (when it's a more reasonable time) but I just wanted to say, I'll be talking about these topics:

1. My unexpected (and kinda unwanted) growth
2. A thought I want gone
3. An enigmatic fact of Ramadan
4. Something that I would like to see destroyed

Salut,

~Joshy~

A gamer's life for me

"The idea that people copy video games is ridiculous. Have you ever seen anyone jump around grabbing balls or hitting boxes like Pac-Man and Crash Bandicoot?"

I'm gonna start playing more games.

Now, I know that a lot of you might think it's ridiculous, me wasting time to play games when I could be out there doing more interactive things. The thing is, when you play a game, you learn things. And every single thing that you learn from games, believe it or not, are actually good things. Okay, I can hear some of you out there going, "What good thing can someone learn from games like Grand Theft Auto [GTA]?"

Although this may seem ridiculous, GTA actually helps teens to learn not to be criminals. When you play a game that endorses murder, crime and etc., what happens is that the person playing will be able to live through everything. They'll learn about the consequences of their actions (eg. You might be able to avoid the cops in GTA, but sooner or later, they'll get you)

Not only that, games also give information to people playing. Information that they'd never have learned otherwise. Think about it. All those people that play games like Call Of Duty [COD], Metal Gear Solid [MGS] and other like those, they learn valuable lessons on being tactical, planning, organizing and even the best way to ration out supplies.

Another example of what you can learn is the history of nations, each country's geography as well as a nation's flag(s). Play any war game, and you'll learn all of those things, and more. After all, most war games nowadays are based on historical fact, and when players go through it, they end up learning while blasting some Nazi's head off. While they're walking around the terrain, they'll (at the very least) learn something about that country's geography. An example, Vietnam is densely covered in forests. Yes, that's basic knowledge, but a lot of people only know this after playing games like Vietcong. About the flags, I'm guilty of not knowing what most flags look like. But after playing this one game on FaceBook, (namely Global Wars) flags that I've never seen before are extremely familliar to me. (Have you seen Thailand and South Africa's flags?! They're awesome!)

Playing an online game is also good for things like building up friendships, teamwork and coorporation, teaches discipline as well as how to delegate tasks depending on each person's strengths. Games like World of Warcraft [WOW], DotA, RuneScape [RS] and RagnarokOnline [RO] are prime examples. Each of these multiplayer online games brings people together, where they can meet and make friends. As most multiplayer online games (including those described above) need teamwork and coorporation, the players involved end up working together to complete their goal(s). The discipline part? Well, how else are you going to be effective as a team if you don't follow your leader's or teammate's orders? The delegation of work part goes to the leader, when he's assigning each person to a specific job according to each person's strengths. You also have to learn to be nice, polite and courteous when playing online games, since there are rules in the game to be polite or you'll end up losing your account.

Also, in virtual reality games, such as vSide, people get to live life, and all the consequences of what bad things they do without suffering in the real world. They also learn how to be a better person socially, without embarrassing themselves if they make a mistake. Also, since it's all online, it's easier and faster to come up with witty remarks, as well as being able to edit yourself before saying anything. People then learn from this, and use it in real life with people in person.

I almost forgot about GTA. Teens playing the game get to release their angst in a virtual reality, instead of doing it in real life. Think about it. All those people playing GTA are killing innocent civilians and police officers, and after doing so, they can release their frustrations. Of course, they'll know that killing is wrong, you shouldn't do it, and etc., but how else would you want them to learn it? Through a game, or through experience?

Best thing about games?

There's an off switch.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Happy fasting, my fellow Muslims, in this Ramadan month!

I'll never take part in the real world confusion or waste my time with futher education

"A world without boundaries is possible; we just need to throw away the borders."

I'm not going to school tomorrow. I don't see why I should, since the time after break (which is like, half the school day) will be wasted doing some stupid things related to Independence Day. Pfft, whatever, I'm not the patriotic type.

At first, I was thinking of going, because of Chemistry, but I decided against it, since Puan Zalma is still sick with fever, last I heard. So yeah, I'd just be wasting my time when I could be doing things. Important things. Things like sleeping, for example.

Right, I know that skipping school is bad, that I shouldn't do it, and bla-bla-bla! I don't really care about what the rules say, to be honest. I just follow the ones that I want to follow (Ben, shut up) and I go to school just to learn. Not for attendance.

Anyways, I have this suspicion that she is avoiding me. Then again, I could just be paranoid. Haha, that's a very big possibility. Whatever the case, I just have to get ready for the worst-case scenario: That she doesn't like me, she's creeped out that I like her, and that she doesn't want to even be in the same room as me. Meh, whatever. It's not worth caring about. She can do whatever she wants.

In other news, I'm learning some new pieces. I dunno why, but I'm suddenly interested in playing again. Something's changed, but I can't figure out why. I guess I forgot the thrill of the songs. Oh, oh, and I'm trying to compose a couple of works myself. Not very good at it yet, but (hopefully) I'll improve. *Big grin*

Alright, I guess I'm off to bed now.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. My other blog is meant only for me, and the reason my blogger name is "Josh" is a personal story I'd rather not repeat; those who know me knows why.

RandomPersonalProject: In Your Shoes

"What we assume others to be, and what others are, are two completely different things."

My cousin recently thought of this really cool idea, which he dubbed "RandomPersonalProject", which consists of doing something personal with someone that you trust, that you're close with, or just someone you can talk to.

The first project is called RandomPersonalProject: In Your Shoes. You know how you have an image in your head of someone's life, and how good they have it? Usually, of course, what we're thinking is completely wrong than the reality. If you want to join in, it's very simple.

All you need is to have someone who's willing to do this with you. It can be anyone, as long as you can be honest to him/her, and vice-versa. It's important that you're honest while doing this, since if you're not honest, you'll just be wasting you and your friend's time.

Once you have your buddy with you, basically what you both have to do is, one at a time, tell each other what you have in your mind about how the other person's life is. Wait, let me say it in a less confusing way.

You are A, and your friend is B. You tell your friend, B, how good you think his/her life is. B then makes corrections to what you think, and then continues to telling you, A, about how good (s)he thinks your life is. Then it'll be your turn to correct your friend.

What happens after this is that it'll be a bonding experience for the two of you, the two of you will be able to understand each other, and so on. The beauty of this is that you two can do it anywhere and at any time. Be it on the phone, online, in person, through texting or even through Morse code! Be it in the morning, at night, in the afternoon or even at 4 in the morning! As long as the both of you agree on it, it's okay.

Of course, the only "rule" to this is that the both of you have to be honest with each other. Have fun!

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. She moved tuition times; since it's pretty obvious that she knows, it's pretty demoralizing. Hopefully, she's not avoiding me. That would suck.

Realization

"The best lessons we learn are those that we learn by accident."

I'm becoming more and more addicted to FaceBook at the moment. Especially Friends For Sale. I don't know what draws me to it. I just enjoy the social attitude there. It's adult, laid back and there's no pressure at all. Totally different to the social life as a teenager.

The weird thing is, I'm also suddenly into blogging again. As soon as I go online one of the first websites I go to is blogger. I don't really type anything, but usually, this website would be the last page on my mind. (sorry, Blogspot!)

Today was quite boring and uneventful. I went to school, learned some stuff, (differentiation... So confusing...) and then went home. At home, I did the usual things, eat, bathe, went online, etc.

What a predictable day. *Sigh*

At least I managed to finish reading two books today, namely Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie and Full Tilt by Neal Shusterman. Peter Pan is a must read, of course. I like that the story is quite violent. After all, Peter and the lost boys (kids, I must stress) regularly killed people (pirates and redskins) and got killed themselves! But like any other classic, you should read Peter Pan at least once in your lifetime.

Full Tilt was interesting. It had an interesting storyline. The guy who wrote it, Neal Shusterman, specializes in writing books for young adults that don't really like reading, so it's a good book to read on those slow and boring days. To those that actually enjoy reading, however, I totally recommend it.

Hmm, I don't have anything else to say now.

Salut,

~Joshy~

Day out and a poem

"Life becomes meaningless when you don't have anything you'd die for."

Gratitude

Moons and suns rise and fall,
While he just sits and watches all;
As people scurrying here and there,
All not knowing they're going where.

The more he looks,
The less things change;
The more he glares,
The less we care.

He takes his hand and interferes,
Yet people say he makes it worse;
Whenever they beg him to help,
They just complain that it wasn't enough.

He does all that he can,
To keep us satisfied;
We just take him for granted,
And forget his worth to us.

It can take days, months and even years,
Before we realize how important he is;
That's when we all think the exact same thing,
That when all seems chaotic: Father knows best.

___________________________________________________________

Hmm, I just felt like writing that. You can interpret it as however you like, but my actual idea for it was something like, we should be grateful to God. Or something like that. Somehow, though, it just ended up being about Dads... Hmm...

Anyways, I had a fun day out today. I went to Sunway with Shane today, and we managed to watch G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra. The movie was okay, but a bit overrated in my opinion. It was kinda predictable at the most part. The funny dialogue, action, fight scenes and all the high-tech gadgets made the movie worth watching. I'm just a bit peeved at the title. Seriously, "Rise Of Cobra"? The "Rise Of Cobra" doesn't happen until like, the last 5 minutes of the movie. Misleading, much?

Shane kept playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) at the arcade, while I just watched. It was fun seeing him hit all the moves.

I'm just a bit disappointed that there weren't any cute girls that day for us to hit on. We were supposed to be each others wingmen... *Sigh*

Salut,

~Joshy~

Trip to SSP/TNS

"Procrastination is a difficult thing to master."

Okay, it's already 12:57 AM. Sorry about the late post, but after I got back, I slept until like, 5. Then, I was too lazy to actually write anything.

Anyways...

We left for the place at around 8. It was great, since we didn't have to go to school. In the bus, it was the usual things, we all talked, took pictures, and so on. Now I'm just gonna go through the highlights.

When we got there, they told us to eat the food there. The mee and the curry puff wasn't half bad, actually.

After eating, we were given a briefing by a couple of people. During the briefing, we found out that there was another school along with us, called SMK Sri Istana (SMKSI). After that, we were put into small groups and were told to paste pieces of paper onto a map. It was actually extremely easy, since it was basically one piece of paper with some things to cut, and another piece of paper with dotted lines on it. We had to paste the cut pieces of paper onto the dotted lines. Seriously, very easy.

Somehow, though, the group I was in finished first, so the teachers went and took our "map" (it was supposedly a map of the 5 dams in the Klang Valley: Semenyih Dam, Batu Dam, Klang Gates Dam, Sungai Langat dam and another dam I can't remember the name of... Oh, well. We were then mixed up together into 2 groups; I was in group 2.

After that, we went into this room where we were given a lecture (of sorts) by this forest ranger. At least, I think he was a forest ranger. Anyways, we were told of all of the uses of TNS (Taman Negeri Selangor/Selangor State Park) and boy, there were a lot! (I won't go into detail here, but you can always send me a message if you want to know more)

Then we went into the forest for a hike. We learned a lot of interesting things in there. There's all kinds of plants there, like tapak sulaiman (starfish base), akar pepanjat (liana root) and sial menahun (bad luck for years). The best thing about the plants were their funny names! Haha, my personal favourite has to be the "sial menahun" tree. We also learned that bears inhabit the forest, after we saw one up on a tree. After the hike, we took a swim in the river and finally each group (from both schools) made a presentation on what we learned. We then got on the bus, and went home.

Now for the highlights of the trip.

While we were in the forest, there was one part where we had to use a thick root to continue, since the slope was quite steep. Well, one of our friends somehow broke the root. Haha, that was funny.

Remember I said we swam in the river? Well, while we were there, since we were guys we were all pushing and shoving each other into the water. Now I wouldn't admit this to his face, but his takedowns were nicely pulled off, and everyone he did it to would fall. I managed to bring him down with me, but to be honest, that was actually an accident. Haha.

Soon after, my friend was attacked by a leech on his pants. Yes, his pants, not on him. But he was still screaming and shrieking like a little girl. Haris and I had to hold on to him to calm him down. Shaun took a leaf and Haris used it to put the leech off. I admit, it was long, about 6 inches long, but still, screaming like a girl? Dude, be a man!

When we were all changing, Ben decided to start taking our pictures, candid-style. One picture he took, was perfect. Now I won't say who it is, but the picture he took had a guy, wearing only a shirt and a towel, bending his leg up at the back (imagine putting a foot at your butt just by bending your knee) and the towel somehow looked tight. Haha, we were all calling him "hot stuff" in the bus, among other things. Another thing that happened while we were changing was when H, the guy that got leeched, saw Harith's... Well, boy part. He was going, "Oh my God, Harith, there's a leech!" Ahahah, that got everyone laughing.

Later on, during the presentation, we got to see the other school for the first time. Anyways, the order of the presentations was Group 1 SMKSI, Group 1 SMKS9, Group 2 SMKSI, Group 2 SMKS9. Our first group did a funny presentation, (albeit it not being so good as it wasn't that well prepared) especially because of Aizat. He got everyone to laugh.

The last thing that'll be kept as a memory of the trip was that during Group 2's presentation, everyone clapped the loudest. I guess it was probably because since we were the last group, we had the most time to prepare, but still. We got the most applause. Heh heh.

Earlier today (Saturday) my family and I went to an MPH warehouse sale. I only managed to buy 8 books, and paid like, RM 95 for all of them, but hey, at least it was a good deal.

Okay, off to bed now; I'm going for a quality time trip with my buddy Shane tomorrow at Sunway, and I don't wanna wake up late!

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I noticed a couple of the girls from SMKSI were checking the guys from our school out. That was funny to notice.

Forgetting a bad memory

"Life is something you can't really plan for."

We went to this place called Taman Negeri Selangor on Thursday. (Selangor State Park is its translation) It's basically a forest reserve in the Selangor state. It supplies all sort of important things to us, stuff like water, electricity and equipment. A few really memorable things happened on that trip. I'd explain more, but I'm not in the mood right now. I'll say more at another time. Maybe in the morning.

Just one message, though. To this one so-called friend, if you're reading this, there's something I want to say to you.

I don't care about you anymore. I don't consider you my friend now. You can be happy or even be miserable, for all I care. I'll act nice in front of you, I won't treat you differently, but down in my heart, I'm thinking, "Oh god, why am I talking to you?" You want nothing to do with me in my life? No problem. I don't want to be part of yours, either. Thanks for doing what you did to me; it was an eye-opener.

You know who you are. (No, it's not the same person as in the last few posts)

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. It's 12:48 AM on Saturday right now, so I might end up posting another post on this same day.

P.P.S. The memorable things involved leeches, a presentation, take downs, a root breaking and a very "pornographic" picture.

Decisions, decisions...

"Sometimes, entire lives are changed simply because of a bad decision."

ZULQARNAIN, I AM GOING TO BLOODY MURDER YOU!!

Aaaaarggh! God! I almost made a (possible) huge mistake of my life! Sofea and Ben were right, I'm not going to do it. As much as I want to, it's not right. I'm not close enough to her, and I'll just end up making things awkward between us. Not to mention that we'll probably never be able to have a normal friendship.

Think about it. If you knew a person liked you, wouldn't you think that he (or she; usually a he, though) has other motives when he's doing something for you? Even if he's just being nice, or is just doing stuff because he's friends with her, she'll think that he's just doing it because he likes her. No matter what he says, she won't believe him. Of course, this is in a general sense, but still.

Of course, on the off chance that it's not all been a lie, I'm just going to start by asking her if H told her anything last Thursday. If no, I'll leave it at that. If it's a yes, I'll end up confessing. Since I've already planned it, I'm going to go through with it.

Seriously, though, Zul, you'd better pray that I'm in a good mood next time we meet. Or else you're dead.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Ben and Sof basically just said that I shouldn't confess because "it's a huge mistake"[Ben] and "you need to get to know her better first, wait 2 years..." [Sof]

There are no boundaries

"For every decision you plan to make, remember: Nothing's ever set in stone."

Alright. My plans have changed. Now I'm doing neither of the options I listed two posts ago. Let's just say, I decided that enough is enough.

Now, all I'm going to do is this. At tuition, go up to her, and say, "So, H told you, huh?", confess, and then just wing it from there. Whatever happens, happens. There's nothing else I can do.

Fingers crossed now.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Mikail is finally out of the hospital. He looks a lot better now, but get this: Better is two big bruises on his eyes, he can't bend his neck down, it hurts for him to speak, the bruises on his left eye is worse, so it makes his eyes uneven, and half of his left eye is red, since the blood is clotted there (or whatever the reason is; I don't remember exactly why for some reason). But yeah, he's a lot better now.

Get well soon.

Let's talk about killing kids

"Killing can be justified. Self defense, for but example. But killing babies is never justified. Never."

What is abortion? It's...

Another heart that will no longer beat.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more ears that will never hear.
Two more hands that will never feel.
Two more feet that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

How can you bear to kill a defenseless innocent little baby and still call yourself a human being? You say it's an accidental pregnancy? That it's alright before it's born? That it's only a fetus? That you aren't ready to raise it?

Wanna know what I call all of that? A whole load of turd.

Accidental pregnancy? Who the Hell asked you to have sex in the first place?! Plus, just 'cause it's a fetus, and it hasn't been born yet, doesn't mean that it's not alive. It doesn't mean that you have the right to kill it. It's still a baby. A fetus is just it's technical term.

Okay, the one reason that seems even a bit reasonable is that you aren't ready to raise it. Maybe you have money issues. Maybe you have family problems. Whatever. Bottom line, you aren't ready. Sure, that seems okay. Kill someone because they're giving you a bit of a problem. Very smart thing to do, don't you agree?

Look, first of all, no one is ever ready when it comes to raising a kid. There's no way that you can practice this. Ask any parent, and they'll tell you roughly the same thing: being a parent is a learning process that doesn't end.

Even if you don't want to raise it, you can still leave it up for adoption. For God's sake, there's even been a movie about it! It's win-win! You don't become a murderer AND that baby you don't want gets to feel wanted.

I'm not speaking on a religious plane, because most people don't listen to those people, anyway. I'm speaking on a realistic level. Abortion is murder, and murder is bad. Wait, no. Abortion is murdering a little baby and murdering kids is just plain wrong.

What's next? Child porn?

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I didn't put in animal torture/abuse because that's already legalized in the US as "freedom of speech".

Misery loves me

"There are times when God decides to screw you over. It could be because it's for your own good, it could be because it fits a divine purpose. Or, it could be just because He has a sense of humour."

This is a year of self control for me. Well, not year, actually. More of week. Yes, definitely. This has been a week of self control for me. Why? Because I have been in so many situations where I feel the urge to swear and curse. All in one week.

Amazing, isn't it?

So far, I've only punched my computer screen, yelled at my pillow, slammed my room door and hit this good for nothing a few times. Oh, and I've threatened a few people. All in all, I handled it very well.

My Internet connection is messing with me. Right when I'm actually doing something, it'll do this pattern of "disconnects for a few seconds" followed by "connects back for about a minute". It'll keep doing this for at least 5 times. Thus, that explains the hitting the computer screen. Or monitor. Or whatever the Hell it's called.

The next three are actually part of the same thing. You remember the girl I like? Well, I was planning on confessing, or, at the very least, asking for her number, on Wednesday. Only problem was, she was sick that day. I couldn't ask her the next day, (A.K.A. the Thursday tuition) because I was one of the committee members of this ExploRace. (imagine The Amazing Race but at a school level; I'm one of the people at the stations)

Anyways, that was the worst day to be absent. The worst day. Just to emphasize it some more, the ultimate worst day to have been absent. Her friends went and freaking told her that I liked her! What the Hell?! Why would you do that!? Regardless of whether or not she reciprocates, I end up at the losing end!

Okay, sure, if she likes me (my friend told me that she said my name in a shocked voice when she heard I liked her; the intonation he used suggests she doesn't like me) it's a good thing. But then, I'm pressured into telling her how I feel. If I don't, I just look like a loser or a wimp. But if I do, I'll end up messing it up! That's what pressure does to you!

If she doesn't like me, well, then, that's pretty obvious, now isn't it? If I don't confess, I still look like a wussy. If I do confess, then I just made a fool out of myself.

This is a saying I live by when it comes to making decisions: Make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.

In other words, it means "when you make a decision, make sure you know if it's worth it."

In this case, I can do nothing. At all. Argh!!!! I am NEVER trusting ANYONE with this kind of information again. Ever. God! *Goes off to punch the wall a few times*

Okay, I'm back, and my fists are slightly purple. Nothing to worry about, though. I've been through worse. Where was I? Oh, right.

As I was saying, this is a lose-lose situation. My best bet, (and this is a lousy idea, by the way) is to ignore her for at least a month, pretend that I don't like her, and wait until everything cools down before I do what I planned. Yes, yes, I know it's terrible. But my only other plan is this:

Ask her for her number, and convince her to give it to me. If she asks if I like her, I'm going to be upfront and honest about it, but still say I want her number, not because I like her, but because I want to get to know her better. If she still doesn't give me her number (unless she can't, like her parents don't allow, her phone is spoiled and she's getting a new one, etc.) then I'm going to start the long painful journey of getting her out of my system.

I know the second plan is much better, but I don't think I'll have the guts to do it. We'll see, though. If more than 3 people leave a comment telling me I should follow the second plan, I'll do it.

Peer pressure at its best.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. At this moment in time, I'm angry at 3 people. A, H and Z, in alphabetical order. I'll cross them out as I forgive them.

A
H
Z

EDIT: (Z changed his story, and his original story was a lie. They weren't involved, and if they were, it was accidental. I apologize to A and H, and Z, you just love asking for trouble, don't you? *Glares*)

This is the life

"Take every second as if it were your last."

I went to the chiropractic earlier. Man, that was an eye-opener. Apparently, my left leg was slightly dislocated. That kind of explains why my left leg limps for no good reason at times...

I've been MySpacing and FaceBooking a lot lately. I don't know why; I just am. There's no hope for my FriendSter ever returning, though. It's dead and gone, and ain't coming back.

I am so sleepy right now. It's only 12:19, but I can't think straight! I have this bad feeling that I'm going to regret what I write in here...

Hmm, I think it's sick season. A lot of people I know are getting fevers, or just getting sick. Everyone's joking that it's H1N1, but I'm a bit nervous about joking about it. People have died, after all. And I'm not talking about those people in America, Australia and etc., either! Malaysians are dying because of this stupid virus!

This reminds me, I haven't put this in here yet. My cousin, Mikail, had an accident yesterday. He was learning to cycle, and he was trying outside of my house. He was cycling around the front of my house when he lost control and started going down the hill (my house is located at the peak of a hill). He's only like, 7, and since he was still learning, the only way he knew how to brake was by skidding his feet on the ground. Unfortunately, though, the bike he was using was too high for him, so he couldn't brake. Next thing you know, he's inside a wide and sorta deep drain at the end of the street.

My little cousin had to be sent to the hospital since he was bleeding so badly. Good news, though, is that he only suffered bad bruises and a lot of swellings. He should be fine in a few days. It's just that now, I don't think he'll want to ride a bike ever again. It might've scarred him for life, y'know?

This is turning out to be an amazing year! I can't wait to see what else is gonna happen by the 31st of December.

Meh, I'd better sleep now. My Dad is getting angry that I'm still up.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. This Friday at 12:34 PM (and 56 seconds) is going to be an EPIC moment!

Honesty is such a lonely word

"Time is just a state of mind."

WARNING: VEEEEEERY LONG POST! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Yeah, I haven't been blogging lately. I don't know why, but each time I have an idea of what to type, as soon as I sit in front of the computer I zone out.

Hm, you know, July has been an interesting month. I've realized that the school's judging system is biased; that the girls that like me fit this stereotype: they are prefects, my juniors and the little sisters of my friends; that I have a chance of being reciprocated; I can actually co-compose and write a song in about 2 days; and that my voice and picture will be on this website: http://www.idristawfiq.com. (Oh, and I have a suit now. It's awesome)

One thing at a time, though.

Remember the marching competition thing? I remember mentioning it in an earlier post. Anyways, I'm in the medic squad. We got third place. That wasn't so bad, we kinda expected getting third. First place was taken by the firemen squad. Again, that was expected. They were clearly the best squad. But the unit that was in second place... Oh, that really pissed us off. It was the police cadets. They were TERRIBLE, but they got second. What?! They should've been second last! Their feet weren't coordinated, they weren't disciplined, their moves were shoddy and the formation they did was uncreative! Then, the group that was supposed to be second - the teenage cadets - weren't even in the list of participants! Last year it was the scouts that got a biased score. I guess they decided to be biased for the police cadets because the scouts weren't in the competition this year (they didn't have a commander)

I'm only just finding out this year that girls are liking me. At first it was weird, then I got used to it. Now I realized that there's a pattern. Most of them are prefects, all of them are younger than me, and most of them are the sisters of my friends. That's just... Creepy. This proves that God has a sense of humour when he decided who would like me. Haha. Currently I'm just playing dumb about them liking me, because I have no idea what to do about it. Anyone has an idea of what I should do?

I haven't mentioned it in this yet, but there's this girl that I like. Unlike other girls that I've mentioned in here, I definitely like her; the rest were girls that I didn't accept having feelings for, or girls that I didn't want to like. Which makes it the grand total (of how many girls I've ever had feelings for) of two.

That's... Just... Sad.

In 16 years of being alive, I've only ever really liked 2 girls?!

Wow.

I'm not sure whether to be glad that I don't often fall for someone, or sad because of how pathetic I am. Haha.

Anyways, lemme get back on track. This girl that I like, well, she's from an all girls' school. Before you ask, I met her at tuition. It wasn't love at first sight, and this feeling definitely didn't grow. It just... Happened.

One moment I was happy-go-lucky and completely at peace with myself. The next moment, I suddenly realized that I had feelings for her. I only realized it during the school hols, to be honest. It was tuition day, and because of the school holidays, there wasn't any class. On that day, I was just thinking, minding my own business, and then suddenly BAM!, I realized that I missed her. Later on that day, I realized that I really liked her. Feelings have a very annoying way of sneaking up on you.

Great news, though, is that my friend told me (last Friday, AKA 31/7/2009) that she liked me. I never told him how I felt, so when he said that, I thought he found out and was just messing with me.

Wait.

Lemme get back to the beginning, so that it'll be easier to understand and explain.

It all started at tuition, when I was in my "annoy-everyone-around-me" mood. My friend, who I'll name Z, was wearing a short-sleeved shirt while I was wearing my awesome suit. (I'll explain later) So, since I was in that mood, I took out my pen, and scribbled a long line on his arm. I kept dodging his attacks on me, until we came to an agreement: That's he'd just write one thing on my hand. He then took my left hand, and wrote a letter on it.

The letter he wrote?

A. (A is the first letter of the girl I like)

Obviously, when I saw that, I felt suspicious as to why he wrote that. When I asked him, he just said, "Adok ah. (I have my reasons)" After more prodding, he decided to give me a hint. Taking out his book, he wrote part of her name on a page. (An example would be, let's say her name was Emily, he wrote "E_i_y". But it was more obvious, since her name wasn't common) When I saw that, my first thought was, "Oh, God, he knows."

That's when I asked him why he wrote that, and again he said again, "Adok ah (I have my reasons)" I acted like I was just curious, but inside, it was like I was having a heart attack. That was how much I was panicking. (The reason I was panicking is that because if THIS guy found out, EVERYONE would know) Then suddenly he said "A suke kau, la. (A likes you, actually)"

When he said that, I grabbed him by the collar and asked, "Kau serious ke ni?! (Are you serious?!)" I bet he was shocked because his eyes went wide and he said, "Ye lah, aku serious. Nape? (Yes, I'm serious. Why?)" "Aku suka die, bodoh! (I like her, you idiot!)"

That's pretty much how the conversation went. The down side, though, is the fact that she didn't tell him herself. He just noticed stuff. One of my friends on the same table, Emillio, looked at me and said, "See?! Told you that you had nothing to lose!" [I had planned to confess on the Thursday before, but I chickened out. Wimpish, I know]

Anyways, according to him, every time I came late or was absent for that tuition, she'd ask him about me, and (again, according to him) it was very different compared to how she asks about other guys. Another time, when I stood up for her points and ideas, (trust me, this was before I realized that I liked her) he said that he saw her blushing. Although, you know, if she does like me, it sorta explains why that one time at this college for English Day, when she saw me she hid. She told me a few days later that she hid, that's how I know. From my logic, (however wrong it may be) a girl would only hide from a guy if she either hates him, or likes him. She wouldn't have told me that she hid from me if she hated me, now would she...? Advice, please?

("English Day" isn't a holiday. It's just the day Oxford and Standford have this essay and public speaking competitions, and schools around Klang Valley are invited to see; it was held at Sunway College, and the both of us were there, even though I didn't know it)

But there's also this problem, where she wouldn't tell me her handphone (cell phone, mobile phone) number to me when I asked her earlier in the year. Again with my logic, but if a girl likes a guy, wouldn't she give him her number when he asks it?

Oh, and this may or may not be relevant, but I have to think I should add this. When I got her friend's handphone number, I texted her and asked for her birthday. (I tend to do that as soon as I get someone's number) Anyways, at school the next week, (I asked on a Saturday so school was on Monday) my classmate told me that A told her that I texted her friend. My classmate told me not to tell A that she told me, but I didn't understand why. In fact, I wasn't even sure why A cared in the first place. Maybe now it makes sense? I dunno, I'm bad at this stuff. This detail might not be relevant either, but what the heck. For a couple of weeks after I texted A's friend, A was... Kinda quiet, so to speak.

To answer your questions, yes, I really did help compose and write down a song. You have no idea how difficult it is to make parts fit, and how hard it is to make bars in a song to fit just like how it's been imagined. I just did the piano parts, though. Emillio did the guitars.

The song was as a soundtrack for a song competition. We're part of the organisers, and the participants have two ways of joining the competition: a) they create everything from scratch themselves; or b) they just add on to our soundtrack. In the space of Friday night and Saturday morning, a few hours of break and finally by Saturday evening, all of it was finished. Emillio did most of the work, though, since he was the main organizer for this competition. Just a note that I don't want to put into detail here, but I don't want to forget: Emillio, you broke that promise on Saturday! You were supposed to taste the cookie! Gaaaaah!

Okay, rant over.

About my voice and picture being on a website, well that's quick to explain. Earlier today I went to a Islamic workshop thing for youths. It was about Ramadhan, and how it affects us and stuff like that. Anyways, my voice will be in it because I, along with 7 other volunteers (Faiz, Adam, Johan, Razzaq, Ilyana, Syafiqah, Sara and Raifana) talked about what makes Ramadhan special is in Malaysia, and how it affects us, the youths. My voice is the second one, haha. My picture will be in it for two reasons: firstly, there was a group picture in which everyone was in, and the second reason is because I was one of the volunteers.

I bet you're just dying to know about this suit of mine. Well, I think suits are cool (HIMYM influence, to be honest) so I convinced my parents to let me have one. We looked all around the stores, and we couldn't find a single suit that... Fit, with lack of a better word. They were all too big, or the design wasn't right, or the feel just wasn't right. Then when we finally gave up, my Mum saw it. It was perfect! It was light, nice cutting, stylish and it looks formal. That means I can wear it literally anywhere I want. Even for sports, since it's considered a "sports coat", although I don't recommend it. (I mean, why would I want to risk it getting dirty? Right? Right?)

It's kinda expensive, about 400 bucks. Speaking of it getting dirty, it did get a bit dirty at Amirah's birthday party. Some food hit the sleeves so I had to go clean it. Amazingly, it was so easy to get rid of the stain. I guess that shows how good the material is.

I think I've bored you enough, so I'm going to end it here. Plus, it's 00:50 AM on Monday. *Sigh*

That's July for you.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. Shane, how'd you get from getting a french kiss early in the month to a break up at the end?!

Seriously, Malay for Math and English?

"Governments should realize that it is not they that control the people, but is it the people that controls the government."

What. The. Hell?!

I'm sure that most to all Malaysians already know this, but to any international readers, I'm gonna fill you in. The "brilliant" government (note my sarcasm) has decided to change Math and Science, which previously was taught in English, to be taught in Malay. Why the Hell would they even consider that?! English is a language of the world, the lingua franca, if you will, and if we learn important international subjects in Malay, how are we, the future generation, going to be able to cope? After learning in Malay, when we go to college, we'll still need to learn it in English again. Don't you think that it's a big hassle? Our future is at risk, here!

Okay, so maybe I wrote this post a little too late, but meh. It's my blog!

*Ahem* Anyways, I created a petition for those that want to keep it in English. Sadly, though, there's only like, 43 signatures. (To all Malaysian students, I urge you to sign it, and to spread the word of it. There's a link on the top right of my page, above the visitor counter; click on that)

Oh, I forgot to mention, the Math and Science in Malay thing won't be implemented until 2012. Sure, sure, my batch won't get the problem of learning it in Malay. Neither will most students now, if you think about it. But do you really think it wise to put the future of Malaysia (via the newer generation) at risk all because of politics? Politics and education should be separated, for God's sake!

Yes, you read right. It's all about the politics. Every 4 or 5 years or so, when someone new steps in, the education system will change. The most annoying part is that Malay, our mother tongue, will change as well. It gets so confusing, that even teachers get confused about what they're teaching!

Right, in other news, did I mention that I got a new computer? Yeah, I did. It's so fast, and I love it! As you might not know, I'm a player of RuneScape, and on this computer, I can finally use high detail. You have no idea how beautiful it is. (By the way, I got this computer quite a while ago; just decided to blog about it now. Heh)

Hm, I actually don't know what to type about. Maybe it's because it's 12:38 AM, and I have school tomorrow. Nah, I've stayed up later than that and still could type more things. Maybe I'm just not used to blogging again yet. Yeah, yeah, that's probably it...

School. Time to talk about school.

Since we're already on our second semester of the year, the teachers decided that we had to rearrange our schedules. Why? Don't ask, because I don't know, either. I thought the old schedule worked quite well, but meh, I'm not a teacher so I guess there's something I don't know about. Hey, remember I mentioned something about TrEES in my last post? Well, a few of us went to this workshop thing a few days ago, and we got a crash course on how to run the campaign to promote the Selangor State Park. One of the girls from Sri Aman that was there was kinda cute, but, like most Sri Aman girls, she was too gedik (a Malay word that loosely translates to "so girly girl-like that it's nauseating") for my liking.

We've got loads of ideas on what to do, but I can't be bothered to type them up now. I guess it'll just have to wait until tomorrow. Or whenever else I'm going to blog next.

Right.

I want to type more, but bed is calling me.

Salut,

~Joshy~

P.S. I might be starting the next semester of my French class this or next week.

A blogger's return

"Sometimes, the thing we're looking for is exactly what we didn't want."

Well. That's been an experience. I never knew you all missed me so much, I'm so touched! *Sniff sniff*

Haha, okay, I know I haven't been blogging in a long time. But in my defence, I completely forgot my password. Before you tell me that I could reset it (like what I just did a few seconds ago), I have another defence too; I'm lazy. Haha.

But man, I don't have much to blog about. Since February until July. Nothing to blog about. That's like, 6 months. In 6 months, nothing interesting or monumental happened in my life. At all. Man, that's sad. Right, but since I'm me, you're going to get anything and everything I decide to write. Yes, that's right, total randomness.

Don't feel bad if I bore you too much; that's the point of this blog. Haha.

You know, this is interesting, though. Lately I've been going on FaceBook, MySpace and even FriendSter. I don't know why, really. Maybe I'm starting to socialize. God no, I don't want to be doing that! Then I'll be like everyone else! And that's just weird. Weird bad, not weird good.

Reaper is MIA currently here, and my comp won't let me find it, or when it does find a Reaper season 2 episode, the episode won't be able to be uploaded. How is that fair?! Imagine this: You're starving, about-to-die kind of starving, and then a guy right in front of you, just out of reach, is eating a big, juicy, filling and delicious... (Well, I dunno, really, but feel free to insert your favourite food there) How would you like that? Not only is it torture, but the guy eating it, is eating said food slowly. Very slowly. Well, that's what my computer is doing to me. Great, huh?

At least I discovered another great show: How I Met Your Mother. Haven't watched it? Bully for you, it's awesome! The chemistry between the characters is perfect; the acting is extremely believable; the separate characters themselves are likeable; and if you can watch the entire first season without at least thinking of saying stuff like "Suit up!", "Legendary!" and of course, 'It's gonna be Legend... wait for it... Dary!" (Yeah, Barney rocks)

Oh, right, now I need to talk about school. As most of you don't know, I'm a prefect in school. Every month, we'll change our duty. Now for some reason, (I suspect marijuana, crack, heroin and/or laziness) we didn't change our duty for two whole months. Two months! You don't know how boring it is, doing the same duty two months in a row. We need variety! Honestly, if I had to do the same freaking duty one more month, I'd cry. Followed by me beating up a totally random person, but yes, I'd still cry.

Thankfully, I did change duty, so no tears would've leaked, and no poor innocent guy would get beaten up (probably me, though, since people like ganging up on me...) Besides, if I had cried, I'd be in direct violation of the Bro Code. (Girls, this "Bro Code" is a made up thing, and not a real code at all. I'm just making stuff up. Guys, the Bro Code is real, and article 4 prohibits me from letting any female know of it's existence)

You know, I think that when I stopped blogging, my love life became better. Now I don't have any problems at all. Of course, this doesn't mean that I have feelings for someone and it's reciporated, but it just means that things aren't complicated anymore. Yay for me! I knew there had to be a good thing to not blogging.

Hm, what else happened? Oh, right! I somehow became a member of TrEES (Treat Every Environment Special). I don't know how or why, but suddenly I've been chosen for membership. Well. There's not much to elaborate on this point. Carrying on, then...

Before I get questions on whether I like anyone or not (I know people will ask, so I say it's better to answer them now), and my answer has to be: yes, I do like someone. But there's no way in Hell I'm telling you, or anyone else. I'm trying to take this as slow as possible. Really slow.

There's something I want to add, but I'm pretty sure I'll regret it. Meh, I'll take my chances. ***** and ******* came over a couple of weeks ago to interview my Dad about an F1 in school competition thing. They needed him as a sponsor or something like that. Anyways, after they left, my Mum and Dad started talking about *****, and then they started telling me stuff like about how to go out with her, and etc. The most annoying part of their conversation (with each ohter)?

Mum: You know, we call Sharrif Abang (it means "big brother") and *****'s family calls her Adik (it means "little brother/sister")

Dad: They do?

Mum: That makes them perfect for each other! *Starts smiling knowingly at me, and giving me a laugh*

What... The... Hell?! How in God's name does that even make a tiniest remote piece of sense?! "Oh, they belong together because their nicknames match". *Sigh* It's bad enough that technically I'm engaged. Meh, at least she's cute. (My alleged fiancée, not her)

In case you didn't know, (which I doubt you do; now that I think about it, I've never mentioned this yet) my Mum and her friend have "matched me up" with said friend's daughter, and until either one of us fall in love/choose someone else, we're [technically] engaged. *Sighs again*

Oh, well, then. I guess I got to go. I need to sleep now, since I have a TrEES workshop thingy tomorrow, and it's like, almost 1 AM (it's 12:56 AM, to be precise). Maybe just one more HIMYM episode...

Salut,

~Josh the Joshster~

P.S. I still can't believe that MJ is dead. We're losing too many legends here!

(Edit: I had to censor some stuff for certain reasons. *Sigh*)